Posted: 03/06/2006

Ultraviolet

(2006)

by Tony Liccardello

There are two types of people that will go and see the film Ultraviolet. There are those who are the die-hard action fans that can’t wait to see Mila Jovovich and her absolutely amazing body. And there are those who are anxious to see if it will live up to Kurt Wimmer’s last action gem Equilibrium, a flick that has become a cult hit.
Wimmer created an innovative and original fictional martial art entitled ‘Gun Kata’ in Equilibrium. It is a blend of martial arts and gun fighting, and it looked, how you say, completely bad-ass. Imagine someone running down a hallway doing flips, dodging bullets, and taking names. He positions himself for maximum precision and accuracy holding two enormous so that every bullet is a kill shot. He beats down bad guys down to the ground. To bad none of this awesomeness (you have to see Equilibrium to understand) can be found in ‘Ultraviolet’.

Regardless of who you are, you will most likely come to the same conclusion. The best thing about this film is Mila Jovovich’s amazing body, where her stomach is on display for about 98% of the film.

Set in a very distant future, this wacky group called the Hemophages, genetically engineered freak shows of power, have been castrated from society. In efforts to prevent any from infiltrating the community, extreme measures have been taken to keep those Hemophages out. Security measures like face scanning, DNA configuration, and blood tests are examples. The movie begins with a bunch of rolling balls bursting into a building, only to reveal themselves as skill-less soldiers. A fire fight breaks out and all of them are destroyed. The villain is introduced here. His haircut reminds me of Lloyd from Dumb and Dumber. Ridiculous dialogue is heard like “I wonder what they were up to”. This poor opening action scene really sets the tone for the rest of the film. Random sequences are in slow motion, it is hard not to laugh.

Shortly after, Violet (Milla Jovovich) infiltrates a bank of some sort in effort to steal a secret weapon for her Hemophage buddies. The story becomes far less clear from here. The weapon turns out to be a child that may possess a strain to kill all of the hemo’s.

Or was it humans? The Hemo’s must act quickly, as the humans will release a weapon into the atmosphere that will eliminate them all for good. Oh, and there are twists. Wimmer forces them into the story unnecessarily and turns it into a muddled mess. Violet then decides to trust no one, in the cliché tale of ‘lets run while the whole world is against me’. Then an uber-lame subplot is inserted where Violet becomes all motherly to the child. There is a scene where they are crying together and hugging. It is so melodramatic, it becomes absolutely hilarious. Do you understand the story yet? The story pales in comparison to the superior “Equilibrium”. At least you have Milla in most of the frames. There is nothing to understand or follow here.

Where should I start? How about with the very few positive details? There is one excellent action scene that takes place about halfway through the movie. Hopefully someone edits this portion out, makes this available on Limewire, so you can see really the only sequence that has any value. Milla looks great throughout the movie, and some of the computerized sets sort of look cool. It is also fun when her hair digitally changes color.

The film is what I call a bad-good movie. I laughed my way through this one. Some parts are so bad, you have to laugh. It reminded me of the film ‘Day After Tomorrow’. Seriously, it takes a somewhat skilled person to make a movie that is bad on so many levels and to generate laughs at the same time. I am not kidding. The entire theater was laughing time and time again after bad dialogue, horrendous acting, and nonsense action.

The acting is really bad. Milla’s voiceovers are terrible at best. She does have a scene near the end of the film where she cries very convincingly, but maybe it dawned on her that she is starring in a piece of junk and wept out of frustration. The child actor is ok, but does a better job at looking extremely creepy and his lines are kept to a minimum. The dialogue is even worse. It is hard to imagine that this is the same person who made Equilibrium, it really is. Right before Violet fights the main villain, “Dax”, Dax actually says “Its on!”. That line made the entire theater laugh. The script is filled with some hilarious stuff with good comedic value.

Also, a good amount of this film is CGI. Some of the sets look completely bizarre, and they establish very early on in the story that a different law of physics applied to this world. But who cares really? One concept they never address is why is this film called Ultraviolet? I understand that the main character has violet hair, but she changes color a dozen times or so, even though she goes by the name of Violet. It just doesn’t make much sense.

The action is mainly ridiculous and boring. There is a scene where Violet is surrounded by a group of soldiers. All of a sudden they are all on the ground. The movie never shows how or what Violet did to kill any of them. Maybe the editor decided to cut that scene out, I don’t know. It is so stupid you just have to laugh. Overall, that is really what this film does best. It is definitely a disappointment for those looking for anything other than a complete waste of time.

Grade: 1 out of 5 stars

Tony Liccardello is a critic based in the Midwest.

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