by Elaine Hegwood Bowen
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Finding true love is easier than ever thanks to a revolutionary bio-technological wrist implant called the TiMER. This innovative device counts down to the exact moment when people will lay eyes on their soul mates. Except that love-starved 30-something Oona’s clock has not even started counting down - her destined mate has not gotten himself hooked in just yet.
Meantime, all the people around her are literally set on their unshakable paths to true love, from her mom, her younger sister, and even her 13-year-old brother. What is worse is that Oona’s falling for a barely 20-something rocker who is set to meet his true love in only four months.
TiMER is a cute movie that suggests that one’s love is pre-destined, and all one needs to do is wear a timer around one’s wrist and wait for the magic moment to count down and PRESTO!, your soul mate is revealed. With this premise, heartbreak is a thing of the past.
But Oona has been having trouble finding her soul mate; she keeps visiting the TiMER clinic, bringing man after man to have timers implanted on them, just to see if their timer will start counting down to match her time. This would signal that this man is the chosen one.
After a while and a series of bad relationships, Oona meets Mikey, a much younger bag boy at the local grocery. While Oona is an orthodontist, she goes against grain and engages in a relationship with Mikey, which is frowned upon by her sister, with whom she lives, and other family members.
Oona is mostly frustrated, as she’s getting older and even her young brother’s timer immediately started counting down, given him a day or so before his future bride would be revealed. She turned out to be the family maid’s Latina daughter, and the two families figured out how to bring them together. This part of the premise seems silly—that you’d be obligated to someone at such an early age, but other cultures embrace such traditions.
One good thing about Oona and Mikey is that when they met, Oona stopped her reckless sleeping around in hopes of finding the guy who might wear the matching timer. Her idea was that since her timer was stuck she figured she’d sleep around and have some fun. The end of the movie brings happiness for a few people, but Oona’s and Mikey’s renegade courtship doesn’t sustain itself.
TiMER stars Emma Caulfield as Oona and John Patrick Amedor as Mikey. It is out on DVD by Phase 4 Films and Capewatch Pictures. For more information, visit Web site www.timerthemovie.com.
Elaine Hegwood Bowen is an editor, writer and film critic in Chicago.
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