The Rosslyn Frequency
by Jon Bastian
New Age ‘woo’ that makes ‘The Secret’ look like it was written by Stephen Hawking
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This documentary from the apparently badly misnamed Reality Entertainment is almost unreviewable. It falls firmly into the center of that genre of New Age woo writing of the “This must be true because I said it is” variety. It has a long heritage, stretching back to people like Erich von Däniken and his Chariots of the Gods, in which he “proves” that aliens landed on ancient Earth because a Babylonian carving of a deity has a circle around its head that looks like a NASA-era space helmet so, dammit, it must be a space helmet, this deity must be an alien, Q.E.D. Zecariah Sitchin was also a purveyor (or perpetrator) of the same with his The Twelfth Planet and other books, in which he “proves” (because he says it is so) that Sumerian writings demonstrate that Planet X, or Nemesis, or Niburu, comes back to the inner solar system every 3,600 years to wreak havoc. Hey – the sun is actually a fluffy pink unicorn, because I say it is, and you can’t prove me wrong.
Fundamentalism of any sort is bad, although American society tends to only ascribe fundamentalism to conservative movements, particularly Republicans and Christians, with the Muslims dragged in for good measure. It’s easy to spot fundamentalist conservatives. They’re the ones having their teabag parties and claiming that President Obama was not born in the US, despite ample evidence to the contrary. Likewise, fundamentalist Christians make themselves obvious when they will not budge in their belief that the universe is 6,000 years old and when they applaud every time a doctor who has done a few abortions is shot on the doorstep of his clinic. As for fundamentalist Muslims, they like to ignore 99.9% of the Qu’ran, and blow Christian shit up.
However, there is also leftwing fundamentalism, and its hallmark is the rejection of anything that comes from any sort of authority. Sometimes, this is good – as in when they’re rejecting conservative fundamentalism, and arguments only based on “because we say so.” On the other hand, it, too, can be as dangerous as the other kind of fundamentalism, especially when it comes from a rejection of the scientific authority of “we have examined all of the evidence, and have determined that this is probably so.” This is called anti-science, and it does have real world consequences – for example, there was a recent outbreak of mumps in the Bronx because too many parents refused to have their children vaccinated after drinking the woo Kool-Aid of the long since discounted idea that vaccines cause autism. They don’t. But not getting vaccines causes a lot more people, particularly children, to get infected – and die – than otherwise would.
An even greater sin committed by New Age Fundamentalists, however, is to have a half-assed grasp of science, completely misinterpret theory, and spin it off into meanings it never had, and The Rosslyn Frequency is no exception as, like What the #$*! Do We (K)now and The Secret, it latches onto quantum physics, ascribes to the macro world that which is only possible in the micro world, and spins wild and ridiculous theories out of their asses. Like conservative fundamentalist religion, which says that if you believe in an invisible being without evidence you will be rewarded later, liberal fundamentalist religion says that if you believe in an invisible force without evidence you will be rewarded now.
Hm. Not such a big difference between the two when you put it that way, is there?
The Rosslyn Frequency is essentially one long talking head interview with some Scottish author I’ve never heard of, who pontificates on a building in Scotland and all of the New Age woo energy fields or portals to other worlds or whatever it is he says is there (because he says it’s there) without any counterpoint or actual evidence, all of it tarted up with cheesy computer graphics that look like they were done strictly with consumer-level software. In fact, a quick Google search of one of his earliest contentions – that Rosslyn Chapel was built as a copy of Solomon’s Temple – is almost immediately disproven: “Rosslyn Chapel bears no more resemblance to Solomon’s or Herod’s Temple than a house brick does to a paperback book. If you superimpose the floor plans of Rosslyn Chapel and either Solomon’s or Herod’s Temple, you will actually find that they are not even remotely similar.” (Mark Oxbrow and Ian Robertson, Rosslyn and the Grail.)
This alleged documentary just keeps getting more and more laughable, as an “experiment” in the chapel involves bringing in two married couples who are “psychic mediums”, and then spins off into complete stupidity as the talking head “explains” concepts in astro and quantum physics, gets them completely wrong (hint: the “steady-state theory” does not mean that everything that exists now has always and will always exist), and tops it off by confusing an endothermic process with entropy. In fact, if he’d checked, he would have known that an endothermic process is anentropic by its very nature. Oops. I think that understanding involves math and science, and there’s nothing resembling either to be found here.
But, hey – let’s not befuddle the New Age gang with anything as confusing as actual laws of science. Kirk Cameron and his banana are utterly ridiculous, and most people with IQs above room temperature can see that. The New Agers should be seen as just as ridiculous, but why it’s completely okay for someone like Madonna to suddenly discover Kabalah, or Jenny McCarthy to think she is an expert in biology, or anyone over the age of five to believe in astrology, and not be laughed out of the room is beyond me.
The Rosslyn Frequency isn’t even worth a rental, but if you do wind up with this pile of excrement in your DVD player, do yourself a favor and turn it into a drinking game. Every time the narrator elevates an assumption to the level of truth, take a shot. You’ll be plastered in the first half hour. And you’ll thank me for being too wasted to watch the rest.
Jon Bastian is a native and resident of Los Angeles. Watch for his upcoming play “Strange Fruit”, which he hopes will help him keep his two dogs rolling in kibble…
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