Posted: 10/31/2005

The Legend of Zorro

(2005)

by Clint Fletcher

At long last, after seven excruciating years of waiting, the sequel to one of my favorite movies, The Mask of Zorro, finally arrives just in time for… Halloween? Despite having a terrible release date and suffering because of it, The Legend of Zorro delivers the goods for a fun adventure, an element that many films now a days seem to be lacking.

While its been seven years for Zorro fans, its been ten years in Zorro-Land. Alejandro’s (Banderas) son is now in elementary school and causing all kinds of trouble, mostly for skipping school and starting fights. After all, he has Zorro genes which can be difficult to deal with in your pre-teen years. Alejandro has a pretty decent marriage to hottie Elena (Zeta-Jones), except for the fact that she pulls an Adrian and consistently asks him to quit being a hero. “You have a son now, and he does not know you” she says. God knows if I were a badass super-hero I’d have trouble retiring too.

Early on in the film, Alejandro has a little accident. While beating some bad guy ass, his mask falls off and his identity is revealed to some Government agents spying on him through the woods. Why they happened to be there, only the bad screenwriter can answer that. So the agents then go and blackmail Elena, forcing her to divorce Alejandro and join them to spy on an ex flame of hers- the ugly bad guy from A Knight’s Tale. Mission: Impossible 2 ring a bell? Anyone? Turns out this dude is on the verge of distributing Nitro-glycerin worldwide which he discovered in bars of soap. Fight Club anyone? Anyone? This new weapon could greatly affect the outcome of the inevitable Civil War that’s approaching. Do we care about this? Not really. But I guess it’s a fair enough excuse for Zorro to lay the smack down on some candy-asses. Pissed off that he’s losing his wife, his son and the people’s respect, Alejandro spends most of the movie spying on Elena and her new evil beau. Then the movie kicks into high gear in its last half hour with non-stop action involving a train and lots and lots of sword fighting.

What did I hate about the movie? Its about a half hour longer than it needs to be. There’s also a huge gap in action for about 45 minutes in the second act, which is almost inexcusable for an action flick. Thank God Banderas and Zeta-Jones are still entertaining even in their downtime. The movie also lacks some serious structure. As most flicks of this kind build as the story goes along, this one runs around in every direction like a chicken with its head cut off until finally it forms some sort of concrete storyline toward the end. On top of this, there are a few moments of complete and utter cheesiness, such as Zorro’s horse getting drunk and smoking in two separate scenes, and Zorro now being able to leap off tall buildings and successfully land on the ground unharmed.

What did I like about the movie? Despite all its flaws, its damn fun. The acting is good, the comedy is still there and the action sequences will blow your mind. Kudos go out to the stunt men on this puppy and Banderas himself who just may be nominated for badass of the year in my book. Noteworthy scenes include a drunken Alejandro throwing a hissy fit at a party and also forcing his son to help him break out of jail.

Is The Legend of Zorro better than the original? Nope. But what sequels are better these days? If you liked the first one then chances are you’ll dig this one. For anyone that likes their action with a splice of humor or spanks it to Zeta-Jones, Zorro 2 is the flick for you.

Clint Fletcher is a senior film critic who’s in between jobs right now. Won’t somebody please hire him?

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