by Jef Burnham
Available to own on DVD on December 21st, 2010 from Anchor Bay Entertainment.
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Did you ever wonder what would happen if Woody Harrelson’s talk radio conspiracy theorist from Roland Emmerich’s 2012 were rendered wholly unfunny, not played by Woody Harrelson, and made the central character of his own made-for-TV disaster movie? Probably not. But guess what. It seems someone over at Syfy did and they called the picture Stonehenge Apocalypse.
The story begins when Jacob, our talk radio conspiracy theorist played by Supernatural’s Misha Collins, notes a strange fluctuation in the Earth’s “energy grid.” It turns out the fluctuation was caused by a team archeologists in a temple 10,000 ft. underground in Maine who inadvertently turn Stonehenge into an anti-tourist attraction, microwaving an unsuspecting group of henge-admirers on the other side of the world. Jacob learns about the subsequent secret government quarantine of Stonehenge that’s plastered all over the Web and he’s randomly off to England with his energy grid meter in hand.
Now you’re probably thinking: How’s the cell phone reception in that temple under Maine? It’s remarkably good actually. But how’s that even possible? Maybe it’s because the temple is on an energy grid point. I don’t know. Hell, I don’t even know what this energy grid Jacob’s always on about is. The entire film hinges on the thing and it turns out Jacob just made it up. That’s right. The greatest minds in the world couldn’t compare with a whack-job DJ who believes the government has nothing better to do than cover up the discovery of a robot head on the moon. Oh, and it seems the X-men are somehow involved in the apocalypse because their insignia is actually the key to the destruction of Earth.
But seriously, Stonehenge Apocalypse is a riot. If you watch it with a group of friends, you’re pretty much guaranteed a good time. After all, I’ve only touched on a small fraction of the elements that elicited howls from the people with whom I watched it. The film co-stars Torri Higginson (Stargate: Atlantis), Peter Wingfield (Highlander) and Hill Harper (CSI: NY) and special features on the DVD release from Anchor Bay include a behind-the-scenes featurette and a trailer.
Jef Burnham is a writer and educator living in Chicago, Illinois. While waging war on mankind from a glass booth in the parking lot of a grocery store, Jef managed to earn a degree in Film & Video from Columbia College Chicago, and is now the Editor-in-Chief of FilmMonthly.com.
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