Posted: 08/18/2006

Snakes on a Plane

(2006)

by Clint Fletcher

“Sit back. Relax. Enjoy the fright.”

That is the tagline for Snakes on a Plane. On top of this, the movie title says it all. If you walk into this film expecting a Hitchcock thriller you will be thoroughly disappointed. But if the greatest B-movie of all-time is what you’re seeking then look no further.

Snakes on a Plane just might be the best bad motion picture ever made.

If you were one of the many that got swept up into the massive hype of this movie, the flick will not let you down. It gives the fans everything they asked for and more with dozens of delicious snake kills, a cussing Samuel L. Jackson and a campy atmosphere to boot. It has a wide variety of B-quality characters, ranging from slutty flight attendant to famous rapper to stupid dude that flies the plane because he’s good at a flying videogame. The lines are cheesy but the actors deliver them well.

Kudos to Keenan Thompson for proving he can hold his own in an R-rated flick, and also to Julianna Margulies for leaving ER to do movies like this. But of course the man that makes the flick is Jackson, spurting classic lines like “enough is enough! I’ve had it with these motherfuckin snakes!” and “turn this giant motherfuckin plane around, now!” Its lines like these that make the film worthwhile- that and those damn, dirty snakes.

Oh yes, these snakes are the best thing that has ever happened to the horror genre. All we’ve got in the past were two shitty Anaconda movies. The passengers of this flight get bit, mutilated, strangled and killed by means of venomous snakes in every way, shape and form imaginable. No human is safe, not even babies and cute little toddlers. Nipples get bitten off. Dicks get bitten off. People get swallowed whole. Old ladies foam at the mouth from the poison. This is a horror fan’s wet dream. Thank God the special effects team spent their precious time on these snakes, as I never thought for a second I was watching some computer-generated bullshit (ala Anaconda).

And kudos to the filmmakers for adding that little bit of extra camp by going “snake vision” every once in a while. Speaking of camp, no existing film is more campy than the first and last ten minutes of this flick. You’ll know exactly what you’re getting into as soon as the opening credits roll.

Snakes on a Plane is not a “good” movie in the traditional sense of the word. Its an especially bad B-movie, but reigns supreme in the “so bad that its good” category. It also just happens to be the most entertaining ride I’ve had all year at the movies. If you dig the title and the concept, you should dig the flick as well. Fan boys rejoice, Snakes on a Plane is worth the hype!

Clint Fletcher is a comedy writer who wants people to love him.

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