Posted: 08/27/2002

Simone

(2002)

by Hank Yuloff

Virtual worship for celluloid babe runs too long, but is a good effort, nonetheless.

Opening scene: POV: the bottom of a candy jar looking up at director Viktor Taransky picking out the red Ike & Mike candies because his star Nicola Anders has stipulated in her contract that the red ones will not be in the bowl.

My thoughts - Why is the director doing this instead of a lowly Production Assistant or Craft Service? Why is he doing this in the middle of an alley? That table, containing just the bowl, should be on the sound stage.

I can take this review two different ways. I can continue to point out the stupid little things that just do not make sense - or I can let you know that there are lots of these stupid inconsistencies, chalk them up to “you have to buy into the story” and move on. The problem is that Director-Writer-Producer (the Unholy Trinity of Moviedom) Andrew Niccol (The Truman Show, Gattaca) ) threw a lot of farce into the movie - picking on Hollywood while telling the story. By taking this two-pronged approach, I don’t think he totally succeeded in either case. There is not the same biting satire that we witnessed in The Player or Swimming With Sharks. It is more like putting a big target on the Hollywood sign and throwing darts at it whenever the story allows.

Simone - (short for Simulation One) is the story of how a 2nd rate director, while trying to salvage his movie and by extension, his career, creates a completely digital actress to take the place of the above-mentioned Nicola Anders who has walked off the set. After Anders (The always fetching Winona Ryder from Girl, Interrupted and Saks 5th Avenue) leaves, Taransky (Al Pacino - Insomnia, Heat) is approached by computer “genius” Hank Aleno (Elias Koteas- Collateral Damage, The Prophecy) who has come up with a way to computerize the acting process. Aleno, conveniently, has one week to live, and sends Taransky the hard drive with all the Simulation One information on it.

Fast-forward 9 months and Taransky has released Sunrise, Sunset (copyrights evidently don’t exist in this Hollywood- though my wife says I’m off here) with new star Simone digitally added into the film. How he was given permission by the studio to take the film and do this is not addressed. The movie is a hit, which leads to the next Simone - Taransky collaboration Eternity Forever which also is boffo at the box-office. Taransky’s plan was to let everyone in on the gag after the second movie, but… ego being what it is…

There are some excellent performances in this flick. Pruitt Taylor Vince (Nurse Betty and the sicko killer in TV’s Murder One), who evidently got the “Farce” script, plays the part of Max Sayer, the sleaze filled owner of the tabloid ECHO (did anyone check with the REAL publication of the same name for their permission?). He actually goes the farthest and comes the closest to uncovering the real story. But he is internally conflicted: he wants the real story, but he is in awe of how Taransky has actually defeated him in keeping his publication from getting photos or interviews with the reclusive Simone. Clouding his vision is that he has fallen in love with the digital goddess played by model Rachel Roberts. Also good is 15-year-old Evan Rachel Wood as Lainey Taransky. She has the “Emperor is wearing no clothes” responsibility while playing Taransky’s daughter. After slamming Catherine Keener (she’s Elaine Christian in Simone) in her last film, Lovely & Amazing, I’m glad to say I think her performance here is better, but that might be because she ends up doing the right thing in the end. Her best line has something to do with being totally unapologetic about having to sleep her way to the top as if it is a regular cost of doing business in the Company Town. On the other hand, Jay Mohr (one of my favorite comic actors) continues his losing streak to three after The Adventures of Pluto Nash and Speaking of Sex. C’mon Jay, pull out of it.

Simone is, at 2 hours-plus, a little long, but if you don’t ask yourself little things like: How did Taransky become a computer genius in so short a time and how is it that NO ONE finds out the truth in a place like Hollywood, it is an enjoyable time in the theater.

Hank Yuloff is an advertising guy in Los Angeles and is all about digitally enhanced models.

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