Posted: 02/09/2011

Saturn 3 Review

by Robert Baum

Review: Saturn 3 (1980)

John Barry, the production designer who devised the visuals for George Lucas’ far, far away galaxy of Star Wars and Richard Donner’s big screen adaptation of the comic book staple Superman intended to make his directorial debut with a science fiction film. The vision he attempted to bring to the screen died and Barry himself passed away after leaving his project. Thankfully for him, he won’t see Saturn 3.
The film waste the talents of Kirk Douglas. Fortunately for the revered star, he isn’t alone. In fact, Douglas’ name is listed after Farrah Fawcett. Yes the blonde-maned tv p.i. of Aaron Spelling’s “Charlie’s Angels” and spouse of small screen cybernetic spy Lee Majors. She is gorgeous but her acting in this film is limp and lifeless—not that her efforts on the small screen have ever been worthy of an Emmy.
Fawcett and Douglas star as Alex and Adam—calling her Eve would no doubt have prompted more than a few eyes to roll among those who were involved in the production—who reside on a quiet and cozy Eden-like laboratory called Saturn 3. They are scientists who live alone, save for a cute Toto-like dog and a few robotis that appear to have been pieced together from Erector sets, on the ringed planet. In the lab they work on ways to solve the food problems plaguing Earth.
Benson (Harvey Keitel, whose New York tough voice has been replaced with that of someone else}, arrives at the lab just after murdering the pilot chosen for the mission. He brings a robot along to make operations more efficient just as communications to and from the Saturnian outpost cease for a few weeks due to a cosmic phenomenon.
Benson is quite taken with Alex, which greatly angers Adam. Benson constructs the robot, an impressive-looking cyborg inspired by Leonardo DaVinci’s anatomical artwork, named Hector. Hector too becomes infatuated with Alex. Though the robot can’t speak—if it had any intelligence, it would want out of this movie; or at least demand a salary equal to the three stars for time and effort. Hector would seem to be the star as its likeness has been on the posters for the film.
The film has it all: voyeurism, death, sex, drug use, and animal cruelty. One should also add bad acting to the many transgressions depicted in this travesty produced by Sir Lord Lew Grade, has previously brought us such small screen fare as “The Saint” and “The Muppet Show.” Stanley Donen’s low-Grade effort is proof thar though Skylab crashed to earth some months ago, there is even bigger space junk out there.
Barry never got a chance to witness the nightmare his vision would become. Sadly thesame can’t be said for those who will see Saturn 3, Stanley Donen’s sonambulistic sci-fi effort makes such recent cosmic clunkers as Star Trek: The Motion Picture and Disney’s update of 20,000 Leagues under the Sea, The Black Hole, look better.

Robert Baum is Currently a Bryn Mawr, PA-based film afficanado and pop culture junkie.

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