Posted: 08/14/2009

Safehouse (2009)

by Michael J. Nicholas

We’ve heard many plots like this before: Ex-FBI agent Cooper O’Neil thinks the hazardous days in his life are in the past- that is, until his former partner shows up dead at his marina charter service. O’Neil’s old partner had a coveted thumb drive in his possession when he died that everybody wants, and now the ex-agent is forced back into the life he left behind to keep the device from falling into the wrong hands.

Sounds WAY too familiar to me and that isn’t even half the problem. The big disappointment is the sub-par acting and half-ass screenplay. I know this movie was low budget affair, but WTF, my teenage daughter’s theatre group can put on a more solid production. And I’m not being mean, I’m being truthful here. Adults with money to spend on making these kinds of movies HAVE to realize what they’re putting out is garbage, and most people will turn it off after the first 5-10 minutes like I wanted to do. Everything is predictable and the acting, when not atrocious, is comical. The actors look like they’re models, which makes sense when you live through their performances. And the cinematography is b-movie, high-grade porno at best.

Like I said, I’m not trying to mean here. I’m only warning you about this movie, just like you would feel the need to warn someone of a potential train wreck. Plus, I had to sit through this thing and have the feeling that an hour and a half of my life was taken from me. I’m not going to bother mentioning actors, directors and producers names because in my mind- they’re not there yet. Oh well, time to pop a handful of pills and hope tonight never happened.

Michael J. Nicholas - a.k.a. Nicky The Note - reviews, opinions & life lessons.

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