Posted: 06/27/2004

Nate and the Colonel

(2004)

by Hank Yuloff

Thundering into video stores everywhere.

The world of Direct to Video is an interesting place. Sometimes you get a pretty bad story that is well performed which makes it almost watchable if you make some popcorn. But then there are the good stories with bad acting. Those are the ones that cost me lots of time because the wife makes me do extra chores around the house for inflicting these things upon her.

After watching Nate and the Colonel, I knew I was in for a session with the washing machine.

One of my pet peeves is seeing movies with that unholy triumpherate of the Lead Actor, Director, Writer being one person. In Nate and the Colonel, that one person is Paul Winters who when you look at his biography of screen work, seems to be sitting on the edge of the entertainment business, being involved with 10 or so completely minor projects that would probably run on USA network at 2 in the morning. Nate and the Colonel will probably end up there too.

The story, though, is worth a re-write by someone with talent. It is 1865 and at the close of the Civil War, Rebel Colonel Ben Loftin (Winters) returns home to find his wife murdered by Union Major J.T. Haskell. Loftin heads west to hunt him down. Accompanying the Colonel on this journey is Nate Washington, a newly freed slave, who, we are led to believe, was The Colonel’s boyhood friend. Forgetting that this is a thin possibility at best, let us move on. Traveling across the Great Plains, still in search of this US soldier, they save the life of Standing Elk, a wounded Chippewa chief and like the story of the bear with a thorn in its paw, the favor is returned as Loftin plots his revenge.

Come to think of it, this is not such a great story afterall. Should have known right from the beginning. The first scene of this epic western, has Loftin and his rebels stealing gold from the same Major Haskell. Haskell is played by Carlos Milano who’s other screen credits all (but for one other Winters project) have to do with soft core porn. The beard plastered on his face is so fake that it should have its own screen credit.

When you see this title hanging around your video store, you will see on the sleeve that it won Best Feature Film 2004 American Indian L.A. Film and Television Awards. Look THAT one up. Here is a hint: the film was awarded and has not even been released yet.

As for me… I have laundry to do.

Hank Yuloff says he was fooled by the press release. He sent a load of dirty laundry to the Film Monthly office as a penalty.

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