Posted: 08/16/2003

Le Divorce

(2003)

by Hank Yuloff

Pathetic drivel spotlighting the difference between the way the French and Americans look at infidelity.

The tag line says “Everything sounds sexier in French.” If that’s the case, this movie should have been done completely in that language because in English, Le Divorce left me bored out of my mind.

Kate Hudson is Isabel Walker. She arrives in Paris to be with her pregnant sister Roxanne, just in time to witness her brother in law Charles-Henri Persand walking out on his about to be larger family. He has another paramour that seems more attractive than his several month pregnant wife. Lawyers will be involved and he will attempt to take a painting that Roxanne brought with her to the marriage. It’s a long and involved story line and if you take my word for it and don’t go see this movie, you won’t be sorry you didn’t have the details.

While the divorce story is going on, in a second story line, Hudson will become involved with Charles’ uncle Edgar. Edgar seems to make a habit of taking a mistress and gifting them with a red Hermes handbag modeled after the ones Grace Kelly used to carry. Like marking his territory in the social circles.

Charles-Henri is played by French actor Melvil Poupaud. He is so bad, I can’t wait for him to get hit by a truck. There is no emotion from this guy. It’s like seeing a deer in headlights. Thierry Lhemitte (And Now Ladies and Gentlemen) is equally as bad as Edgar. He is playing the sophisticate but seems more like cardboard. I wonder if it’s a language thing. Other wasted talent belong to Mathew Modine (Any Given Sunday). What he was doing in this movie is unbelievable. He plays a wacked out husband who can’t understand why his wife left him for Charles-Henri.

He tries to get back at her by getting Roxanne to sleep with him. Time for an agent change, Mr. Modine. Glenn Close (Fatal Attraction), Stockard Channing (West Wing TV) and Bebe Neuwirth (Tadpole, Frasier TV) are also featured, but there wasn’t enough screen time for them save this film.

Hudson is good in a movie that, at 117 minutes, is 45 minutes too long. But she always is. The trouble here was that I got really tired of looking at her and had to listen to the dialogue. Big mistake. Should have turned off the sound - or turned on the translator for the French version.

Don’t bother seeing it in the theater. Don’t rent it. Don’t waste the time when it is on cable. Let it be the Kate Hudson movie you tell your friends you didn’t see because you heard it was so dreadful.

Hank Yuloff adds Le Divorce to a list of movies which meet our unofficial motto: We see them so you don’t have to.

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