Posted: 11/21/2005

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

(2005)

by Clint Fletcher

November is here, my friends. This can only mean one thing- Potter season. As the installments in the ever-changing Harry Potter franchise keep getting better and better, the latest chapter known as The Goblet of Fire is the best film yet.

First, I must start off by saying that I’m not a die-hard Potter fan. I don’t read the books, I don’t visit any chat-rooms and I’m not a member of any Hogwarts fan clubs. Instead I have sex with girls in my spare time. Nevertheless, I do get caught up in the hype when a new film is released and occasionally I’ll dress up like a fool for the first midnight showing. Now that we’ve established my place on the Potter-Meter… let’s move on, shall we?

As mentioned before, I believe the Potter films get better and better with each installment. Just as the actors mature, so does the subject matter and material. The Goblet of Fire marks Harry’s first adventure outside of kiddie-land by finally coming head-to-head with his arch-nemesis Lord Voldemort… or even worse, puberty. Oh yes. Harry is starting to notice girls and men across the country are starting to notice Hermione. In just a couple more sequels I can talk about how I want to bang her but until then, I’ll just stick with the movie. For those of you popular people out there who hate reading, this latest installment opens with Harry being forced to compete in a brutal competition against three other students from various schools. Each participant of the competition must complete three dangerous tasks and the winner shall receive a trophy and “eternal glory.” But there’s a catch- you must be seventeen to participate. So how does Harry get to compete? Because he’s the star, silly. That and someone entered his name into the Goblet of Fire, forcing him to compete due to a “binding magical contract.” This infuriates the rest of the Hogwarts teachers and students, especially Ron. Not only does Harry have to deal with a brutal competition and his best friend hating him, he also has to deal with finding a date for the school ball and coming to terms with Hermione’s developing breasts. Haunted by dreams of evildoers plotting against him, Harry finally faces off against Lord Voldemort in the finale I’ve spent four years waiting for.

Goblet of Fire is definitely the best Potter film thus far with a well-defined storyline, breathtaking graphics and humor galore. Not only was it the funniest of the franchise, but I could actually understand what the hell was going on without ever reading the book. The past films left me with tons of questions to ask my friends about, but I was left with none this time around. And once again, this is no kiddie flick. People are killed, taunted and tortured as Harry begins to face his worst fears all at once. Maybe this would explain its PG-13 rating, another first for a Potter flick. Goblet of Fire is definitely the most emotionally-charged of the franchise, leaving us with an intense and dramatic final half-hour that is sure to stay in your head for days. My worst fear now is how the hell they are going to top this one. Rumor has it the next installment, The Order of the Phoenix, is the worst book in the series. Here’s hoping they can keep building on emotion and intensity as they’ve continued to do since The Sorcerer’s Stone.

This is typically the part of the review where I tell you to go see this movie. But do I really need to do that? Its Harry frickin’ Potter man! Okay okay. For those of you that have steered clear of the hype so far due to the childish material, the time has now come to get caught up. Harry is on his way to adult-hood and so is his franchise. And in a few more years Hermione may just want to play with his Goblet of Fire, too.

Clint Fletcher is a senior staffer and lover of Harry Potter.

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