Posted: 04/27/2001

Freddy Got Fingered

(2001)

by Christina M. Swosinski

Is there an Academy Award for “Most Panned Film”?

After sitting in the theater for ninety of the longest minutes of my life, I feel that I am no longer intelligent enough to write this review. I honestly believe that Tom Green’s new film, Freddy Got Fingered, slowly but surely sucked the brain cells right from my head. I actually feel dumber for having sat through the entire film. Don’t get me wrong. I indeed have a vast and varied sense of humor that occasionally borders on crude. I laugh at noises put out by the human body just as much as the next guy, but sometimes you just have to draw the line. There is a difference between humor and poor taste. We all know where Tom Green stands and as far as Freddy Got Fingered is concerned, it’s right in the middle of a pile of horse excrement. (To put it mildly.)

Speaking of horses, one of the most inappropriate scenes from the film involves Green helping a stallion, how can I put this nicely, experience pleasure in a hedonistic way. I don’t know about everyone else, but for me, that was just disgusting. There was just no need for it. Actually, there was just no need to even spend the money to make the film. Green plays Gord Brody, a twenty-something aspiring cartoon animator still living in his parent’s basement. Julie Haggerty (Airplane) and Rip Torn (The Larry Sanders Show) play Gord’s parents. You have to wonder what the hell they were thinking when they signed on to this venture. The basic point of the movie is for Gord to try and “get out there” and get noticed for his stimulating cartoon television theories. However, the entire movie could have played out in thirty minutes if it weren’t for Green’s absurd antics throughout. Basically, you encounter ninety minutes of the most gruesome, disgusting, vile acts of random stupidity you will ever be tortured with.

For example, if you enjoy watching children being victimized and bloody, go see this movie. If you think that cutting open a deer carcass on the side of the road and crawling in to become ‘one’ with the deer, than this is the cutting edge drama you’ve been waiting for. How about beating the legs of your wheelchair bound girlfriend with canes? Does that do anything for you? I know, you’ve been anticipating that someone would make a caring movie about the funny way that babies can be swung around by their umbilical cords dispersing blood all over the room, haven’t you? Well, the wait is over. Get out there and see this movie!

I’d love to write more about the plot for all of you, but quite frankly, there is nothing to write about. Freddy Got Fingered was, in my opinion, simply a way for Tom Green to attempt to make himself into more than he really is. Green has a gift for making people laugh on the small screen, but that’s where his antics should stay. No one should really have to pay money to watch this movie. It’s just not worth it. I’m just thankful I decided not to take my nephew to see it. Take my advice folks, wait for it to come out on video. It’ll be there sooner than you think.

Christina M. Swosinski is a freelance writer, film lover and student living in Florida.

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