Posted: 03/14/2006

Failure to Launch

(2006)

by Clint Fletcher

After being pushed back from Valentine’s weekend for whatever reason, the first official date movie of the year hits theaters. And yes, that’s a big “fuck you” to the terrible flick that was actually called DATE MOVIE. And naturally, spring is here so everyone is sappy and horny and ready for some sweet loving. And that’s why Failure to Launch went number 1 this weekend at the box office. Or it could also be because it’s a cute little flick that doesn’t have much going against it.

Before I begin with the actual reviewing, I’d first like to say that I was truly impressed with the premise of this movie. When I heard about it a year ago, I actually laughed out loud and thought “that’s going to be funny.” A 35 year-old still lives with his parents so his parents hire a girl to date him and encourage him to move out of the house once and for all- genius.

Plus something like this has never been done before, at least to my knowledge. Now… on to the flick. Failure to Launch is another one of those romantic comedies without the comedy. It sets out to be funny, but in the end there were very few laughs to be had. Does this hurt the picture? Not as much as you would imagine. I still had a great time watching McConaughey who always rules, and has made a career for himself out of saving otherwise dull chick flicks. I also quite enjoyed Sarah Jessica Parker as well, despite her big nose and horrible hair cut. I’ve never been a big fan of hers but after seeing this flick and witnessing her ‘cute’ personality, I can now see why Sex and the City was such a huge hit among females and extremely gay men.

As for the plot… well, the actors run the show here. There wasn’t that much on paper to begin with and the stars do their best to make up for a bad script, so in the end it comes off as 60% enjoyable 40% what the hell were these writers thinking? First off, these people (as in the writers) must have some weird fascination with wild animals. What’s that, you say? Yes, I said wild animals. Throughout its pretty short running time, members of the cast get attacked by- dolphins, lizards, raccoons, mockingbirds, Kathy Bates, etc. Most of these scenes happen during the traditional “guy protagonist bonds with his buddies” scenes. But most of these scenes have absolutely nothing to do with the plot and are totally random and bizarre.

Take Zooey Deschanel for example. Her entire plotline revolves around the assassination of a bird that won’t stop chirping outside her apartment. This was funny in the first scene, but then it kept going and going and going.

Finally, there’s actually a scene where she attacks it then gets a friend to resuscitate it by giving it mouth to mouth. Not funny. And… what the hell does this have to do with the plot again? Absolutely nothing. Again… just plain odd. And speaking of Deschanel, people keep talking about how hilarious and quirky her character was. I just didn’t see it. I mean I chuckled a couple times, but mostly I just found her to be downright creepy much like the writers of this script.

However… when the movie isn’t focusing on animals attacking or lame supporting characters, it shines brightly through its two stars. They have great chemistry together and I really dug the whole concept of Parker’s occupation, much like I did with Will Smith in Hitch. I also thought the casting of Kathy Bates and Terry Bradshaw (in his first major film role) was also perfect despite both of them being terribly underused. I wanted to see more scenes with them and how their living arrangements worked with their son, but sadly we only get a couple of those in the opening. And yes, Bradshaw is actually tolerable here. As long as he never tries to take on a heavy role in the future he’ll be just fine with light fluff like this. In any event, pointless scenes involving McConaughey and his friends throw the structure of the movie completely off, but thank God it ends on a high note.

With most romantic comedies today, they’re usually the most enjoyable for the first half of the movie. But as soon as you dive into that traditional third act, (you know, the one with all the sappy montages and men chasing after women on foot) it all goes down in flames. But thankfully, the third act in Failure to Launch is refreshingly original. Without giving too much away, McConaughey is literally tied down to a chair and locked in a room with Parker, forcing them to work out their differences that have progressed throughout the movie- whether they like it or not. Niiiice.

Failure to Launch will surely be forgettable a year from now, but if you’re in the mood for a fluffy chick flick then it certainly can’t go wrong.

Besides, what else are you going to see, Madea’s Family Reunion (don’t you dare go fucking see that)? Thanks to two incredibly charming leads and an amazing casting director, this romantic comedy may not have the laughs, but it delivers the sweet goods anyway.

Clint Fletcher is a writer and film critic living in the Midwest.

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