Posted: 08/15/2005

Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo

(2005)

by Clint Fletcher

Hello there, children. Your favorite reviewer here, the only one brave enough to swim at the bottom of the barrel and review movies like this. I’m sure many of you are only reading this because you’re expecting another bashing session. Well, I hate to disappoint you, but I actually kind of enjoyed this flick. WAIT! Let me explain…

For starters, I’ll be the first to say that this movie should never have been made. Sure, the original Deuce Bigalow was a fun ride and it pulled in a decent chunk of change, but not enough to spawn an unwanted sequel. Besides, the original came out before Schneider made his Shit-Storm Trifecta: The Animal, The Hot Chick and 50 First Dates. In other words, Deuce Bigalow was the first starring vehicle for him back when we didn’t know he wasn’t funny. Nevertheless, he continues to suck Adam Sandler off to get his movies green-lit and now we have European Gigolo whether we like it or not. But this film is living testimony on how a good crowd can make or break a potentially bad flick. I went in to this puppy with the lowest of expectations, but alas, I requested to review it back before I even saw a trailer. So I gather up one of my buddies that loves horrible movies (you think I’m bad with the shit I like?) And we head on down to a ghetto theater, one of the only few in town where I know this movie will draw somewhat of a crowd (poor thugs love to waste what little money they have on dirty shit like this). And you know what they say, laughs are more contagious than Herpes. So before I knew it, I was laughing my ass of along with everyone else and I couldn’t figure out why. Was this a good flick? Nah, that couldn’t be it. But then it dawned on me, I had such low expectations going in that I once again was able to enjoy a ridiculously goofy movie for what it is and have a good time. This technique has worked well this Summer, as I actually enjoyed Stealth and The Dukes of Hazzard when I probably would’ve normally hated them if viewing them by myself and with different expectations. With all this said and done, lets move on to the flick.

This time around, Deuce Bigalow heads for Amsterdam to meet up with TJ (the always funny Eddie Griffin) to get away from a little accident he caused involving dolphins and retards (not funny enough to mention). But, since this every movie must have some type of plot for their dirty jokes, there’s a gigolo killer on the loose all over Europe, and Deuce decides to get back in the game to use himself as bait and solve the case. Much like Stealth, its pointless to explain plot points, so lets move on to the jokes. This movie has to be one of the filthiest comedies ever made. That’s right, EVER MADE. Now at first it took me a few moments to get over how incredibly stupid the jokes are (think Mr. Deeds or any other Sandler flick) and how bad the director is (his last name is Bigalow… yeah I bet that was a hoot on the set). But then, something very strange dawned on me. I actually began to find hints of intelligence in the screenplay. If you ever see this flick in your lifetime you may notice that every single line has a dirty reference to some form of sexual act. Now sure, there are a lot of dirty movies out there with tons of filthy gags, but I’ve never saw one as consistent as this. And you’d have to be pretty sharp to be able to write that much shit. I’m talking no breaks here. Even the closing of the movie features Deuce in a duel with golden penis swords. Some note-worthy scenes include a chick with a penis for a nose who blows her load every time she sneezes and another girl getting throat-fucked through the hole in her neck due to a tracheotomy.

If you walk into Deuce Bigalow expecting a sophisticated flick, it means two things. 1) You’ll be thoroughly let down and 2) You’re fucking retarded and should not be allowed in society in the first place. You guys know what you’re getting into, so if you dug the first one than check it out. As for me, I can thank European Gigolo for giving me a nice, relaxing evening at the movies.

Clint Fletcher is a writer and critic living in Los Angeles.

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