Posted: 04/28/2002

Clockstoppers

(2002)

by Tracy Scanlon

Zak Gibbs (Jesse Bradford, from Bring it On), the son of a famous university physicist, is the generic protagonist of this farfetched sci-fi comedy. With the strains of Blink 182 pulsing in the background, this PG protagonist desperately wants a car, and a kiss from the gorgeous Venezuelan exchange student, Francesca (Paula Garces). Instead he finds a reconfigured wristwatch with the power to speed up the metabolism of the wearer so time seems to stand still but the wearer of the watch can pop around like superman with no one able to even see him.

Rather than checking out the girl’s locker-room, as any red-blooded American guy would, Zak and Francesca plays in some water from a sprinkler and awes as the drops stay in suspended animation, they put a peeing dog in a meter maid’s car, pop a hole in a spray can, and help a friend win a D.J. contest. The director, Jonathan Frakes (the actor who played Commander Riker on Star Trek: The Next Generation) must have tried hard to limit his imagination to only that which could get him the coveted PG rating.

To spice things up a bit, the deranged head of Quantum Technologies, Henry Gates (Michael Beihn), wants the stopwatch to aid him in his plans for world domination. Didn’t see that one coming, huh? Zak’s dad is kidnapped, and the rest of the movie consists of blind numbing visuals, head throbbing music, and a predictable ending where Zak rescues his father and comes up with a few scientific devices that are even more outrageous than the idea of his not taking a chance to ogle some naked girls.

The dialogue is stiff and stilted, Professor Gibb is stereotypically absent minded, and Zak’s mother is whiny and flaky, and Francesca’s Spanish accent leaves much to be desired. Other than that, the movie could be half-way decent except there is only so much suspension of disbelief a moviegoer can endure, and this one toppled over the edge and crashed before it’s excruciating 93 minutes were over.

While Director Jonathan Frakes succeeded in creating “a movie that my kids can see,” I’d love to talk to his kids and see if they’d actually want to.

Tracy Scanlon is a writer working part-time as a bartender when she’s not teaching high school or reviewing films. She lives in Chicago.

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