Posted: 02/02/2007

Because I Said So

(2007)

by Karen Petruska

Because I Said So boasts an impressive cast of talented women: Diane Keaton, Mandy Moore, and Lauren Graham (sorely underused, from this Gilmore Girls fan’s perspective). Director Michael Lehmann brings female-friendly experience from an impressive roster of television directing gigs for shows like Big Love, The Comeback, and Wonderfalls. Screenwriters Karen Leigh Hopkins and Jessie Nelson are responsible for a series of “Hallmark-like” tearjerkers, including feature films Stepmom and I am Sam and television movies Searching for David’s Heart. So why does this movie fail so utterly?

Diane Keaton plays baker Daphne, the mother of three daughters who is desperate to have them all married off and happy. The film is kind of Austen-like in this manner alone—Austen without any of her wit and depth of insight. The film opens by marrying off the two eldest daughters, so Daphne turns all her attention to youngest daughter Milly, a sincere but flighty caterer. Daphne creates a personal ad for Milly and personally interviews all the young men who apply. Milly knows none of this, of course. The grand-prize winner is Italian-speaking architect Jason (Tom Everett Scott). The complicating factor is tattooed musician Johnny (Gabriel Macht), who offers himself as a candidate to Daphne after watching her interview loser after loser. She rejects him, but Johnny finds a way to meet Milly nevertheless. Milly therefore finds herself torn between two men, with the added pressure of her mother’s “caring” advice.

This isn’t an awful premise for a film, even though it sets up Keaton’s character as an overbearing woman interfering in unforgivable ways in her daughter’s life. The premise could work if the film acknowledged more directly the absurdity of Daphne’s behavior. Instead, Lehmann asks us to accept Daphne’s misguided attempts to control Milly’s life as the actions of a woman fearful that her daughter will end up alone like her. In there lies the problem. From Daphne’s point of view, being alone is the worst thing that can happen to a woman. A single woman ends up “like one of those pathetic characters in a Tennessee Williams play.” Ouch.

Daphne is so terrified of being alone that she will do anything to prevent the same tragic end befalling her daughter. Unfortunately, the daughters have bought this logic completely. When Daphne indulges in a crying fit, the girls realize she is starting to get sick and lose her voice. So they do what all children do. Play rock, paper, scissors to decide who will take Mom into her home to care for her during her illness. I know anytime my Mom coughs, I get the futon ready. Because women can’t take care of themselves when sick. Or so the films suggests with zero irony.

Keaton attempts to infuse her character with some dignity, despite gags like a cake flying into her face and a porn internet site becoming frozen on her computer (oh yes, and a dog humps an ottoman. No joke). Her wardrobe is impeccable, and her humor remains in tact despite the hysteria. One scene in particular demonstrates what this movie could have been. While unable to speak (due to the fit-induced laryngitis), Daphne and Milly bond while watching old romantic movies. Daphne accidentally-on-purpose asks Milly what it is like to have an orgasm. Now, the daughters have shown no shame in discussing their sex lives with their mother throughout this movie. Most of these moments are cringe-inducing. But here, Keaton’s vulnerability brings this moment a true poignancy.

Unfortunately, more often than not, Lehmann opts for dumb sight gags and cheap sentiment over nuance and sensitivity. Milly’s struggle to decide between the two men doesn’t engender the tension it could because Everett Scott’s character is tragically underwritten. Why is this accomplished, polished man drawn to this natural but awkward young woman? What attracts her to him, besides the empty allure of money and glamour? Milly’s refusal to end her relationship with Jason despite her genuine affection for Johnny tarnishes her appeal. Despite Moore’s undeniable appeal, Milly comes off as selfish and calculating rather than torn and tortured. Gabriel Macht charms as Johnny, especially as portrayed through his relationships with his father (Stephen Collins) and his son (Ty Panitz). But the male characters aren’t given many opportunities to be more than studs.

Because I Said So cheapens the men, infantilizes the women, and panders to the lowest common denominator in the audience. Looks like the studio tradition of dumping their stinkers into the first months of the new year continues without abatement.

Karen Petruska is a film critic living in Chicago.

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