February 1, 2006

The Fifth Annual Doughboy Awards

Hello all, your favorite critic Fletch here. The results are in for this year’s Doughboy Awards. Thanks again to all who voted and we’ll see you guys next year! — Fletch

BAD-ASS OF THE YEAR
Mickey Rourke, SIN CITY

P.O.S.* OF THE YEAR
DOOM

BEST LINE OF 2005
“Only two things can happen when you go out with a woman. Either they don’t sleep with you, then there’s really no reason to ever call them again. Or they DO sleep with you, then there’s really no reason to ever call them again.” — Ryan Reynolds, WAITING

BEST 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN LINE OF 2005
“You know how I know you’re gay? You have a rainbow bumper sticker on your car that says, ‘I like it when balls are in my face.’” — Paul Rudd

COOLEST KILL OF THE YEAR
Miho unleashes her Samurai wrath, SIN CITY

MUSHIEST CHICK FLICK
TIE: JUST LIKE HEAVEN and PRIDE AND PREJUDICE

BEST SEX SCENE
Vince Vaughn gets tied up, WEDDING CRASHERS

BEST GIVEN MIDDLE FINGER
Keanu shoots Satan the bird, CONSTANTINE

MOST ANNOYING CHARACTER
Johnny Depp, CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY

MOST PERVERTED TITLE
HERBIE: FULLY LOADED

BEST DANCE SCENE
Closing ‘Age of Aquarius’ dance, THE 40 YEAR-OLD VIRGIN

MOST F****D UP SCENE OF THE YEAR
Girl dives into container of needles, SAW II

BEST ASS-BEATING
Brad Pitt vs. Angelina Jolie, MR. AND MRS. SMITH

MOST APPALLING SPORTS COACH
Kim Cattrall, ICE PRINCESS

BEST COMEDIC SIDEKICK
TIE: Dane Cook (WAITING) and Vince Vaughn (MR. AND MRS. SMITH)

WORST ENDING
WAR OF THE WORLDS

HOTTEST ASS OF THE YEAR
Jessica Alba, SIN CITY, FANTASTIC FOUR, INTO THE BLUE

PRETTY BOY OF THE YEAR
Jake Gyllenhaal, PROOF, JARHEAD, BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN

MOST EXCITING MOVIE MOMENT
Batman summons his bats, BATMAN BEGINS

GUILTIEST PLEASURE OF THE YEAR
THE ISLAND

BEST CAMEO
Will Ferrell, WEDDING CRASHERS

MOST IDIOTIC TITLE
MRS. CONGENIALITY 2: ARMED AND FABULOUS

MOST CONTROVERSIAL FILM
BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN

WORST ‘BLACK’ COMEDY
THE HONEYMOONERS

MOST TRAGIC MOVIE DEATH
Shepherd Book and Wash, SERENITY

BEST MALE CAMARADERIE FLICK
THE 40 YEAR-OLD VIRGIN

FUNNIEST ANIMATED FILM
WALLACE AND GROMIT

BEST SLOW MOTION SEQUENCE
Vaughn/Wilson bah mitzvah dance, WEDDING CRASHERS

WORST HAIRDO
Hayden Christensen, STAR WARS: EPISODE III- REVENGE OF THE SITH

BEST DAMN MOVIE OF THE YEAR
BATMAN BEGINS

BEST DAMN ARTSY-FARTSY MOVIE OF THE YEAR
BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN

* Piece of shit

Clint Fletcher is a screenwriter and filmmaker in search of Hollywood.

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