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February 2, 2007 Shut the Fuck Up and ShootI don’t know if any of you have noticed, but there’s a brand new trend in Hollywood and it goes a little something like this—the marketing campaign for a film begins much sooner (earlier) than it needs to, sometimes with movies that are not due out until years from now. To all these studios behind these marketing campaigns I have this to say—shut the fuck up and shoot the movie first! Six months ago, actor/director Jon Favreau did a series of FULL interviews on his upcoming directorial effort Iron Man. What’s wrong with this picture? Iron Man doesn’t come out until 2008! For those of you keeping count, the flick is slated to come out at least 730 days after these interviews. How about making the fucking movie first! Don’t spend all your time doing interviews about how good a movie could be. Instead you need to be spending every minute concentrating on actually making the damn thing and carrying out what you’ve been promising everyone. Then, after you’re done shooting and have finished editing, you can talk about the flick all you want. And yes, I consider this a trend because if you pay enough attention, this shit is everywhere. I remember going to the movies this past Christmas and seeing a teaser trailer and poster for Fred Claus, a holiday movie set for NEXT Christmas. I then had to explain to my family that this movie isn’t really out yet, and why there was a preview for something coming out a year from now. I also saw a teaser for Bean 2, which is slated for November 2007. Now don’t get me wrong, for movies like Star Wars and Spider-Man, I think its somewhat acceptable to give us some teasers six months prior, because those movies are guaranteed blockbusters with phenomenally huge fan bases. But fucking Bean 2 and Fred Claus?! First off, with this new advanced marketing plan, studios are further ruining the excitement of seeing these films. Its already bad enough that I have to watch the countless trailers, television spots and billboards a few months prior to the movie, but now I have to deal with this shit for an entire year?! Over my dead fucking body! While Indiana Jones 4 will probably be a decent flick with Spielberg behind the camera, I already want to shoot myself in the head from hearing so much about it over the past two years. It’s also funny to read about the details and release date of the next Bond movie months before Casino Royale was even released! Slow the fuck down, people! And secondly, this is also revealing to the public (not that we didn’t know this already) that studios don’t give a rat’s ass about making a good film, it’s all about the marketing and selling the movie through advertising instead of—God forbid—actually making a decent film instead. Does anyone out there honestly believe that this past weekend’s dreadful Epic Movie went number 1 at the box office based on good word of mouth? No. It had a decent marketing campaign and a quarter of this country’s population got suckered into yet another piece of shit studio flick. As long as everyone out there keeps getting suckered, this pattern will continue. So… I’m not only bitching and pleading to the studios to stop this madness. I’m also pleading to the American people—stop giving in to these atrocious marketing campaigns. Here, I’ll help you guys out by sending you on the right path—just ignore movies until April. With the exception of Smokin’ Aces and perhaps the Reno 911 movie, there isn’t a decent-looking flick in sight until Spring. So if we all band together and stick it to tinsel town just maybe those retards will get the message. But for now, filmmakers and studio heads here my cry… just shut the fuck up and shoot the movie first! Don’t forget to check out Clint Fletcher’s other hidey hole here on the web: http://filmmonthlyblog.blogspot.com/ Clint Fletcher is a screenwriter and filmmaker in search of Hollywood. Read Tony Liccardello’s Rant on M. Night Shyamalan Hate. Got a problem? E-mail us at filmmonthly@gmail.com |