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Lake Dead

Directed by George Bessudo

Written by Daniel P. Coughlin

Starring Alex Quinn, Tara Gerard, Kelsey Crane, Kelsey Wedeen

Produced by Mike Karkeh, Todd Chamberlain

Not Rated

91 minutes

*

Well, the Broken Clock Theory does have its obverse—while it may be right twice a day, it’s still wrong plenty of others, and Lake Dead is going to be one of those.

You would think that the upshot to the After Dark Horrorfest is that even the worst movie in the rotation is still pretty good, but sadly, for the first time, that’s just plain old not the case. Lake Dead is garbage. Utter garbage. How this got into a block of otherwise excellent movies is beyond me.

But, I guess, someone’s got to be the dog, so let’s sail right into this barker. Basically, sisters of a really horrible family managed to inherit a motel out in the middle of nowhere, and they need to figure out what to do with it. Meanwhile, the sisters stumble across a family of redneck psychopaths in the midst of a killing spree, and put themselves unwittingly on the block. Plus, they get to learn just how horrible their family truly is.

Which has been done unto death several times, and I guess Lake Dead is just trying to be the The Hamiltons of the 2007 Horrorfest, but man. One, I can’t believe Texas Chainsaw Knockoffs still exist, and two, I really can’t believe that one of them got into the After Dark Horrorfest! That’s wrong for so many reasons that just picking one is tough to do.

And this is really all Lake Dead is, folks, just another Texas Chainsaw Knockoff packed with psychopathic backwoods types who like killing and raping and suchlike. That filmmakers actually think this kind of gratuitous violence passes for scary is perhaps the greatest blow of all.

Worse yet, Lake Dead suffers minus points right off for its use of thoroughly chee-zee CG blood effects. Used to be they’d have to do something semi-realistic with blood makeup and squibs and such…now they can just drop in a graphic of a head shot and call it a day. I can’t say I approve of that, but it by itself is a minor issue. Especially when compared against everything else.

The ending borders on the downright reprehensible, frankly, because rape is bad enough, but incestual rape is even worse.

The special features include audio and video options, English closed captions, Miss Horrorfest Contest webisodes and both English and Spanish subtitles.

All in all, I’m thoroughly revolted by Lake Dead and am having a really hard time wrapping my head around the existance of this miserable little thing. An easy contender for worst of the Horrorfest yet, Lake Dead makes The Hamiltons look like Night of the Living Dead.

Steve Anderson is a film critic who collects action figures so he can dress them up as his favorite horror villains. He lives somewhere in the United States.


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