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Experiment in Torture

Directed by Sean MacArthur

Written by Sara Angressani, B.C. Hickey, George McCutcheon, Sean MacArthur

Starring Brendan Connor, Jessica Montanez, Gina Martinez, Billie Prochazka

Produced by B.C. Hickey, George McCutcheon

Rated R

80 minutes

Zero Stars

Someone over at Lions Gate missed the memo “Captivity” originated.

Someone, apparently, did not look at the monster bomb that was “Captivity” and notice, holy shit, torture porn doesn’t make money any more!

How can I tell? Because they released “Experiment in Torture.”

Basically, “Experiment in Torture” has a plotline like a pocket “Hostel,” and that already is a bad, bad sign. Several strippers, promised a wad of cash, agree to go spend the weekend at the mountain retreat of a wealthy guy who likes to watch. I’d use the phrase “wealthy voyeur” but that comes RIGHT off the back of the box. Naturally—or I wouldn’t have bothered insulting this movie by calling it a “Hostel” knockoff—this will result in hot chicks getting tortured for roughly an hour.

What amazes me is that it took FOUR monkeys pounding away at keyboards to type out this lump of shit. Seriously. A “Hostel” knockoff with strippers was entirely too damn complex for one of these chuckleheads to knock out, so it took FOUR WRITERS. The back of the box makes it clear—one did the story and it took THREE MORE to make it a screenplay.

My mind boggles. Am I watching the first movie ever written by monkeys at keyboards? Or am I watching a movie that required four people to make a low-budget torture-porn “Hostel” ripoff? Either way, it’s not good.

And indeed, it’s not good. Torture porn enthusiasts—all eight of you—will be waiting almost a half hour for the torture to actually kick in. The first half hour is mostly strippers at play and a tarot card reading that actually spells out the rest of the plot. The torture, meanwhile, is occasionally innovative and features blistering agents and similar stuff. Which is kind of interesting, but let’s face it, kids…it’s still just torture.

It’s even pretty low-budget. You can tell by the minimalist number of sets required to shoot this—most of it takes place in and around a lake house.

The ending—as though anyone actually gives a rat’s ass about the ending of this piece of shit aside from the fact that the ending signifies it’s finally, finally, over—is in the grandest Hobbesian tradition. It’s nasty, short and brutish.

The special features include and trailers for “Night of the Living Dead 3D,” “Fido,” “Holla,” “Dark Storm” and, ironically enough, “Captivity.”

All in all, I can’t believe someone wasted time, money and footage making this. It’s godawful tripe of the worst kind, and I still can’t believe it took four people to write the plot for it. Needless to say, I can’t recommend it to anyone except those very, very few who still watch movies like “Hostel.”

Steve Anderson is a film critic who collects action figures so he can dress them up as his favorite horror villains. He lives somewhere in the United States.

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