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Directed by Directed by DJ Evans
Written by Written by DJ Evans
Starring Starring Richard Harrington, Louise Delamere, Jaime Winstone, Mark Lewis Jones
Produced by Produced by Nerys Lloyd
It’s nice to see a vampire movie that doesn’t involve sparkles, because as we are well aware that sort of thing has been going around a lot lately. And with Cravings, a new vampire movie from Lions Gate, we will manage to do better than sparkles, but not by much.
Seen anything in the movies lately about the practice of cutting? Yeah, I know, only every time you open your DVD player. Well cheer up, because this time will be absolutely no different as we join Nina, a disturbed young lady who has not only been cutting herself but also drinking the blood. And she’s grown to really like blood. A lot. What she’s willing to do to get blood is downright horrifying, and you’ll see all of it in much more graphic detail than you ever wanted. But a hospital psychologist is hopeful that he can cure Nina, not to mention score serious brownie points (and of course hereby brownie points I mean time in the sack) with her mother.
Professionalism? What’s that?
Anyway, like I said, this will be better than Twilight, but this is mostly because the bar is set so low that you could almost accidentally walk over the top of it. It’s not hard to be better than Twilight, and Cravings will prove it. there are some pretty interesting ideas here, so I’m not willing to issue a blanket condemnation. This leaves me in a difficult spot for determining a rating, so I think my two star approach is going to have to do.
However, there are also plenty of reasons to not like this. It has a tendency to bore, and you’re all well aware that I’m no fluffy bunny tree hugger, but even I didn’t want to see what happened to that poor dog when he got too close to the electric mixer. You can pretty much fill in the blanks from there, but blender plus doggy equals bad time for all. It really doesn’t matter how good the rest of the movie is, any time you feed a dog to a major home appliance, you can pretty much count on not having that good of a time.
The ending is probably the worst part of the whole movie because it’s so spectacularly contrived.
The special features include English and Spanish subtitles, audio options, and trailers for Cravings, Frayed, The Last Resort, Necessary Evil, Dead Wood, and ads for Break.com and Fearnet, which I thought was deader than a zombie movie anyway.
All in all, yes this is better than Twilight, but it’s really not going to raise anybody’s expectations of the vampire subgenre because it still pretty much sucks. Though since it doesn’t suck as hard as it possibly could, this does make it better than some.
Steve Anderson is a film critic who collects action figures so he can dress them up as his favorite horror villains. He lives somewhere in the United States.
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