October 26, 2008

No More ‘Heroes’ (or ‘Fringe’)

Everybody Hates Chris (The CW) — Not their strongest effort. Not bad, but they didn’t sell me on the powerful effect this teacher had on Chris. I wouldn’t nitpick that so much if Adult Chris hadn’t called her the best teach he’d ever had—where did that come from? They really should have taken the time to build that relationship over several episodes. Bringing her in, then carrying her out, caused the whole episode to suffer.

Fringe (Fox) — So, okay, I’m done. Last week, I said that I don’t hate this show, I don’t wish it any ill will nor do I hold a grudge toward people who think it’s the greatest thing ever to air on television, but… I’m just not feeling it. I gave it a few weeks to grow on me, and while in some ways it got better, the writers continued to introduce story ideas that I disliked. Anna Torv has gotten worse, not better, in the lead role. This week, for the first time, my biggest fear came to fruition—they’ve started writing Walter as a goofy, joke-dispensing caricature instead of a brilliant, haunted man whose vague creepiness is undercut by his absurd statements. I’m out. That’s all there is to it. I won’t even say I expected more from J.J. Abrams and his pals, because I honestly didn’t… But I still don’t like the show.

Heroes (NBC) — For those sick of me railing against this show’s relentless awfulness, you’re in luck. Even if I hadn’t repeatedly trumpeted my plans to stop watching the show if things didn’t get better this week—if I’d kept quiet or decided to give it more of a chance, let’s say—I would have deleted the episode from my TiVo in disgust and never watched the show again. It was that bad.

Let’s start with the ending and work our way backwards, shall we? First, I have to say that I love Robert Forster. I was thrilled to hear he’d have a recurring role this season, but that was back when I still had hope the show would redeem itself for the second season. His swiping of powers was appropriately bad-ass, but it takes me back to one of my many complaints about last week’s episode (which, more generally, criticized the series as a whole): he has the exact same power as Peter. Yes, he takes powers, rather than merely absorbing them, but at the end of the day, his “power” is still “the ability to absorb others’ powers,” just as Parkman’s father had the ability to control minds in addition to just reading them (an aspect Parkman himself learned to use). Another problem with the power absorption: he steals Adam’s ability to heal rapidly, then steals all of Peter’s powers—which include the power to heal rapidly. Don’t try to sell me on the notion that he “needed” strength in order to handle Peter—bullshit. It was just sloppy writing attempting cleverness (giving Adam a “cool” death by calling back to the earlier notion that all of these people were part of the conglomerate that founded The Company).

So then there’s Peter and Sylar. Last week’s stupidest line came from Angela Petrelli, and it bears repeating: “We knew [the formula] couldn’t ever be used again—that’s why we divided it in thirds!” This week’s stupidest line comes from Sylar, about Angela. In the midst of his incoherent, labyrinthine explanation for why he needed to release Peter, the Heroes world’s second-dumbest Petrelli asks why he should save her, to which Sylar says, “She’s the only woman who ever accepted me for who I really am.” Careful viewers will note that, from the start of this season, all Angela has attempted to do is change who Sylar really is. Which, I guess, is evidence that Angela really is Sylar’s mother. You don’t get to be that stupid without genetic help.

The crap with Mohinder, Nathan, and Tracy was just godawful filler. I’m disappointed to report that so was the stuff with Parkman and Daphne. Now, I still like Parkman—sort of—but I seem to remember Tim Kring, reflecting on last season’s failed attempts at coupling, said something like, “Maybe we just aren’t that good at relationships.” He should’ve stuck with that opinion of himself and his writing staff, because nothing about this is working for me. The chemistry’s not there, which might be the 15-year age difference between Greg Grunberg and Brea Grant… Or it could just be the latter’s grating performance leaving me mystified as to why anyone would be smitten with her. Then again, maybe it all makes sense: he’s not in love with her so much as trying to recapture something he felt in a “pre-cog” hallucination.

Are you ready for the worst part of this week’s episode? If you watched it, you already know (and not just by process of elimination): Claire and her two mommies versus “sinister” puppetmaster Doyle. It’s time for a hypothetical. Say you’re a slovenly, misogynistic ape who has been blessed with the ability to control humans like puppet. Fate brings you an attractive woman that you once knew, who you turn into your personal love slave. Two other women come to rescue her. You mistakenly assume the teenage girl is your love slave’s niece, and the older woman is the niece’s mother. So you make the girl play a game of Russian roulette, using your puppet powers, and force her to aim the gun at your love slave and kill her, and if she actually died, you’d lose that love slave forever.

Did any part of the Russian roulette scene make sense? Seriously… At first, I thought, “Okay, no biggie—the gun’s obviously not loaded. He’s just bluffing to scare the shit out of them.” And then the gun is loaded. The gun that Doyle forced Claire to aim at Meredith—his love slave!—and pull the trigger. Maybe if we knew something about Doyle’s backstory, we’d know that he’s had plenty of love slaves, that they’re a dime a dozen, whatever. Since we know nothing about him, and frankly, the dude looks and acts hard up, he shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth by possibly making someone else shoot her to death. For no discernible reason.

On the one hand, the writers tried to ramp up the struggle Claire has been dealing with all season—will she choose the cool real mom who’s never been there for her, or will she choose the uncool stepmom who’s an actual parent? The writers dropped the ball in two ways: first, they stripped the choice right out of Claire’s hands, and second, it makes absolutely no sense for Doyle to force this choice upon her. Again, maybe if we knew something about him—that he’s some kind of sociopath who gets off on causing harm to women, for instance—they could have made this subplot plausible. Knowing nothing, left with what we do know, it’s perplexing at best. At worst, it’s just shitty writing—somehow even shittier than last week, which is why I was surprised to read on so many TV-commentary blogs and message boards that Heroes has “suddenly” redeemed itself with its first good episode of the season.

It did have one redeeming subplot, though. Aside from the tedious (as usual) time-travel explanation for Ando’s non-death, the Hiro/Ando/Usutu subplot was pretty much the only thing that went unscathed. As I said during the premiere, this show’s success depends on how well they handle each of its many subplots. When only one per week works—out of five or six, usually—that’s a big problem. One that has, at long last, made me give up this show for good. Sorry, guys, but I’m pretty sure you’ll get canceled long before you come close to being good again.

King of the Hill (Fox) — I usually like Kahn-focused episodes, especially when they involve his man-crush on Ted Wassonasong, but I have to confess that this didn’t do much for me. The alley gang’s struggle against poorly built McMansions, while funny, fell square in the center of the formula that’s kept the show running strong for 13 years—the modern world encroaching on the lives of old-fashioned rednecks. However, unlike instant classics like last season’s “Raise the Steaks” (in which Hank runs a hippie co-op because it’s the only place in town with good meat/produce), this week’s didn’t put a new or unexpected spin on the characters. Even the episode from two weeks ago, about Strickland going green, took each character to their illogical extreme. This time around, they were the straight men to crazy Ted Wassonasong and the absurd loophole finder.

Mad Men (AMC) — Okay, so the writers finally decided to address some of the weird—but believable—issues with “Dick Whitman” and “Don Draper,” and it did tie into that mystery flashback from “The Gold Violin.” Their relationship is so bizarre and interesting, it could almost make for a compelling season of television unto itself. Instead we have a depressing, deliberately paced (very similar to last week’s) take on Don’s various issues. His identity crisis, if you want to call it that, has finally come to a head, and I hope he’ll move past it. I assume Don stepping into the ocean and letting the waves crash over him symbolizes some sort of renewal or rebirth and not something annoyingly over my head.

In other news: hey, Pete’s a dick. Who saw that coming? Although I don’t mind Pete as a character, I found myself drawn more to the stories of Joan and Peggy. Although their subplots were relatively separate, the two characters have had uncomfortable parallels since the beginning, but more in this season. Joan appears to be suffering from a Don-esque identity crisis of her own and has been ever since she got a taste of Peggy’s glory when she helped out in the TV department. Suddenly, she had a purpose, a launchpad for a career—but it was yanked out from under her. Instead, Joan tries to create her identity in the usual way for women of the era: through marriage. And, of course, the disturbing “office sex” scene showed that even that isn’t working out for Joan. Meanwhile, everything’s coming up Peggy—landing the Popsicle account and a classy new office (courtesy of gone-but-not-forgotten Freddy Rumsen).

I can’t leave this without also mentioning Betty. She’s become unpleasant on so many levels, yet they’ve managed to keep her sympathetic. Maybe more empathetic than sympathetic—I certainly understand why she is the way she is, but I’m not exactly rooting for her to keep up the behavior. I still wish we could return to the halcyon days of her firing a BB gun at her neighbors’ pigeons, a cigarette dangling from her lips. Assertive Betty is fine but not when she’s entrapping “friends” into sleeping with guys she wants for herself, then chastising her for going through with it.

The Office (NBC) — Am I wrong in feeling like something was off about this episode? The setup of all the major stories—the robbery/auction, Jim bumping into Roy, etc.—was fine and dandy, the episode was funny as ever, but something just didn’t feel right. Was Michael acting too stupid? Did they spend too much time on Angela, Andy and Dwight (who, no offense to the actors involved, are just bogging down the show)? Was Jim’s behavior unbelievable even with Roy planting seeds of doubt? I’m supposed to be the one providing the insights here, but I just can’t put my finger on what didn’t work about the episode. I just know that when the credits rolled, I had kind of a blasé feeling about it, which rarely happens with me and The Office.

Pushing Daisies (ABC) — Another great episode—there’s hope for this show yet. Loved Emerson’s mother (Debra Mooney, most recognizable to me as Mrs. Wellman on Roseanne, but she’s been in a ton of stuff, notably a recent stint on Everwood) and an overly-perky Dana Davis as the Frescorts receptionist. For those keeping score, she played Monica Dawson on Heroes last season—the only tolerable new character, and therefore the only new character destined to disappear without a trace for no good reason. Lucky for her, she got out while the getting’s good, and if she can find a role where she doesn’t die midway through the episode, she ought to go far.

Going into the episode, I was slightly less enthusiastic about David Arquette. Knowing this show’s zany enthusiasm for going over-the-top, I assumed it would play to Arquette’s major weakness (going way, way, way too far to get laughs), but he was remarkably restrained. I also loved the way they tied together Ned’s struggles for friendship and acceptance paralleled Arquette’s, and their scene at the end was…much more touching than I would have believed possible. Beyond that, the way they built the entire episode around Ned’s jealousy over Chuck and Olive just clicked in ways the show hasn’t since early in its first season (with the exception of last week). I’m willing to admit the writers’ strike might have been good for these guys. They seemed to have spent the off-time really getting into the nitty-gritty of these characters. Good times!

Raising the Bar (TNT) — I pretty much watch this show for scenes like the one on the rooftop, between Kellerman and Charlie, but I have to reluctantly admit that scenes like this have been few and far between. The show tries to do some good with its stories, exploring the problems with the system and how to manipulate its broken parts to achieve real justice, but its strengths lie in its characters, which the writers forget too often. Courtroom histrionics don’t make the show good. Kellerman sitting in his apartment, poring over precedents and loopholes until he has that “Eureka!” moment—that’s what makes the show work.

Oh, and Richard’s “mad crush” on Rosalind? I’m warning you, show—I like you and all, but do not go down the road of intra-office hook-ups. Please, please just let these people work together like normal people. Remember when The West Wing tried that? Just, please, writers, go back and watch that show so you know how much better it is when these people are just friendly colleagues. Nothing kills a show faster than far-fetched romances like this.

Sons of Anarchy (FX) — Roger Ebert’s law of conservation of characters could apply to this week’s ambulance. In another of this show’s (many) sloppy moments, we had a clunky ambulance theft followed by much mockery. Anybody who’s ever watched an episode of television in their lives knew instantly that the ambulance would come in handy later in the episode. Sigh. On the plus side, they made the DEA agent creepy for the first time ever—just in time to be killed by Jax, which will create a fun rift in his relationship Tara. And they brought in Francis “Awesome” Capra as one of the Mexican gang leaders. So, while I didn’t think this was a particular great episode, I do think it’ll lead somewhere… Maybe not great, but somewhere more interesting.

Supernatural (The CW) — I’m not sure I like Supernatural setting two “light” episodes back to back, but maybe the CW is airing them out of order for some reason. This was another really funny episode with some great work from Jensen Ackles. Unlike last week’s greatness, this one won’t work as a “standalone” to bring mystified friends on board with Supernatural’s awesomeness; while hilarious, it’s much too dependent on a knowledge of Dean’s character. If you don’t know he spends most of his time as a bad-ass, most of his ‘fraidy-cat material will fall flat.

I loved that they allowed Sam to show how much he cares about Dean. As I mentioned quite frequently last season, the writers forcing rifts between the brothers (especially by physically separating them) has annoyed me. They’ve continued the trend a little bit this season, but an episode like this lets us know that they may fight, but they still care about each other. Also, special shout-out to Jack Conley, notable to Buffy/Angel fans as werewolf-hunter Kane and ridiculous demon Sahjhan (also memorable as Kim Kelly’s stepfather in one episode of Freaks & Geeks). He added an extra layer of intensity to this week’s creepy sheriff.

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles (Fox) — Good news, everyone! Fox picked up the back nine. Knowing them, this means the show will get canceled after episode 14 airs, instead of after episode 10. Yay!

The writers packed this episode with revelations about every single character, which is great because while I tried to find positives in each of the Ellison/Weaver subplots, they felt directionless until this week. Now, we have expansions on her (and her “daughter”), Ellison, John, Sarah—even the damn Turk computer got some character development. Derek’s curious future lover has added even more meat to the pot, although she remains a mystery. My speculation? Just as the resistance fighters have gone to great lengths to capture and reprogram machines, the machines have gone to great lengths to capture and “reprogram” resistance fighters. For some reason, she’s working for them. I should also mention that I enjoyed the episode-ending irony that John disabled their recording device—just before Weaver ran in and made a deluge of secret admissions revealing who she is and what she’s up to.

D. B. Bates is a film critic and television viewer who has often shouted at fictional characters who probably wouldn’t listen to him even if they could hear him and existed in reality. Interested in explaining to D. B. the many ways he got it wrong? E-mail him.

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