July 20, 2008

Emmy Nominations

I’ll try to avoid sounding snooty or pretentious when I give the following disclaimer: I don’t care about the Emmys. At all. They do not accurately reflect the quality of the television landscape (if they did, The Wire would have won every award it was eligible for during each of its five seasons; The Sopranos, meanwhile, might have squeaked by with one or two acting nominations—not necessarily wins—and nothing else), and they’re as farcical as any other awards show. For evidence of this, look no further than the list of nominees for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series:

30 Rock - Tina Fey - NBC

Wait, stop! Really? Really?! She might be a great comedy writer—but “might” is the operative word there—but even people I know who love the show will admit she’s the weak acting link. How does Kristin Chenoweth get nominated for supporting actress but Anna Friel doesn’t get nominated for lead? She’s not better than Tina Fey? Melora Hardin from The Office is not better than Kristin Chenoweth? Swoosie Kurtz and Elln Greene aren’t better than Vanessa Williams? See what I’m getting at? This isn’t even a popularity so much as a group of very, very confused people, the kinds of people who leap to their phones after seeing ads for that vibrating belt that makes you lose weight. What kind of awards show is that?

I was asked to chronicle my thoughts about the nominations, but how can I pretend to care? I won’t mind if Mad Men takes it all. I won’t mind surprises and upset-victories. I won’t mind if Boston Legal is never nominated again, in any category. But I really don’t care. I won’t be watching or following the awards. I won’t even know if they’ve won until I see obnoxious promos touting them as “Emmy-winning.” That said, Anjelica Huston better win for her recurring role on Medium—she was extraordinary.

D. B. Bates is a film critic and television viewer who has often shouted at fictional characters who probably wouldn’t listen to him even if they could hear him and existed in reality. Interested in explaining to D. B. the many ways he got it wrong? E-mail him.

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