Posted: 05/04/2006

 

It Waits

(2005)

by Barry Meyer



But you shouldn’t. From Anchor Bay


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The usually exposed Cerina Vincent manages to keep her clothes on for the role of a troubled forest ranger stuck in her remote lookout tower deep in the wilderness. With only her nagging pet parrot and her nagging guilt over killing her best friend in a terrible car accident, Cerina drinks herself into a daily stupor. Her troubles only pile on as she discovers piles of mutilated campers and co-workers strewn across the forest floor. Somewhere out there in the deep dark woods there lurks a vengeful monster (which looks quite similar to the beast from Jeepers Creepers) of Native American legend, and it thrives on the negative energy given off by our fretful heroine.

I was surprisingly looking forward to watching this flick, seeing it was produced and co-written by 70s veteran TV guy Stephen J. Cannell. Not that I am even remotely a Stephen J. Cannell fan, it’s just that I figured I’d have a better shot at seeing a good horror flick put out by someone who came out of the old system of working through the ranks and having to sharpen his craft the old-fashioned way, by writing for everyone else, before he could be taken seriously at creating his own stuff ’ as opposed to the way it is today when you can be handed the keys to the horror empire because you came up with some clever idea that some wannabe producer thought could get him a nice bankroll (yep, I’m talking about cheeseball Eli Roth). My optimism was peaked when I saw that the script was co-written with Richard Christian Matheson, the son of the legendary horror/fantasy writer Richard Matheson.

Well, so much for optimism. It appears that the talent for good story-telling is not very buoyant in the Matheson gene pool. It also appears that Cannell’s years of bringing the audience quality entertainment ’ like some of TVs most memorable shows The A-Team and The Greatest American Hero ’ are long behind him. It Waits turns out to be yet another exercise in horror futility that once again abandons the idea that a good story can go a long way to help keep the viewer interested in what goes on in between all the special FX scenes.

Barry Meyer is a writer living in Jersey, but that’s his fault.



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