Saw V

| October 26, 2008

I’d like to get something out in the open right now: I’m a big Saw fan. Yes, I hated the first one. But I was won over by the sequels. Most people feel the opposite and favor the first but don’t care for the sequels. But to be honest, until this latest installment, I just thought they got better and better. Sure, we all know none of the stories are original, but even the worst Saw movie is superior to 90% of the horror shit that gets released by Hollywood each year. Not to mention, people don’t go to the movies every Halloween to see intelligent plot, they go to have some bloody fun and to see a bunch of sweet-ass kills. With that said, Saw V is the first sequel that takes the franchise down a notch.
I guess there are only so many flashbacks you can show about one deceased character before things turn into a huge mess. The Jigsaw killer died two movies ago, and yet the last two films were built primarily around the flashback concept of showing us the behind the scenes of previous installments through Jigsaw’s point of view. I felt that this concept was quite effective in last year’s Saw IV, but now they’re just beating a dead horse. They’re trying to introduce a new Jigsaw, and its just not working. The great Tobin Bell cannot be matched in overall creepiness and they killed him off far too soon. Now, I wasn’t expecting the plot of Saw V to be clever, but I did expect some sweet kills and a few cool twists. With the exception of a strong opening scene, I got neither. What I got was a shitty, half-assed script and even shittier actors to bring them to life.
Before I get into the bashing, I must point out that the movie’s biggest weakness is the poor misuse of the story time line. To put it in other terms: shit was fucking confusing. It got to a point where I couldn’t tell if I was watching a new flashback, a flashback from previous installments, or a new scene in general. I’m sure I could’ve followed along better if I had time to watch Saw I-IV this past week but I was busy having sex instead. In the midst of the confusion, I know I saw Danny Glover in there which means they went all the way back to the original Saw as far as flashbacks go. Other people in the theater were confused as well, but I felt especially stupid since I was the only one of age.
Saw V returns to its original roots: wretched acting. Some of the actors in this movie are so bad they should use this flick as their film reel for not getting hired. These cats make Cary Elwes Oscar-worthy for the original. One actor in particular, Greg Bryk (Screamers 2, ReGenesis) made me want to ply my eyes out with one of Jigsaw’s devices. His scenes were just flat-out laughable and the audience responded accordingly. Perhaps this was director David Hackl’s fault. Word of advice to producers: never hire a guy with “hack” in his name. Or just maybe it was the studio’s fault for hiring a production designer as the director. Just because the cock-knocker designed the sets for previous Saw movies doesn’t mean he’s qualified to direct.
I’ve always been very supportive of the Saw franchise, which has become a Halloween staple among my circle of friends. Many people (mostly the movie press) have been waiting for the series to fail, probably because it makes for a better story. And going up against High School Musical 3 isn’t helping either. But if Saw V has proved anything, its that maybe the franchise should be laid to rest after all.
Grade: C-

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