Rush Hour 3

| August 13, 2007

Before the awesomeness of the Live Free or Die Hard trailer hit the Net, Rush Hour 3 was my most anticipated movie of the year. I have fond memories of watching the first two installments as a young virgin (the first in high school and the second in college–the movies, not the girls, you sick fucks) and laughing my ass off at Chris Tucker and his blackness. But then, part three’s shitty trailer was accompanied by bad reviews.
Maybe the lowering of my expectations helped, but God help me, I really dug Rush Hour 3.
A lot of factors had me worried about this flick, the first of which is the time gap. It’s been nearly a decade since the original Rush Hour and six years since Rush Hour 2. Would Salt and Pepper (Tucker and Chan) have the same chemistry they captured years ago? The answer is yes. Another factor is Chan’s age. He’s old as shit but somehow manages to survive on the road (old Asian drivers are the worst). Could he still perform the amazing stunts he used to do back in the day? Again, the answer is yes. Chris Tucker hasn’t done jack shit since the last Rush Hour movie (besides get arrested–check that out on YouTube). Would he still be just as funny as he was before? By now, I think you know the answer.
Instead of rehashing the plot for you (which is retarded and complicated anyway), I’m just going to talk about the film in a generalized fashion and try and answer some questions that are on a lot of people’s minds.
Is it as good as the first two Rush Hours? No. It’s definitely the weakest of the three, and I’ll explain why in a minute. Is it funny? Yes. Tucker still has his novel of one-liners to unleash upon the world and while some fall flat, most of them are fresh and hit their mark. He needs to stop spending millions of dollars on fried chicken and make more movies.
Does it have good action? Surprisingly enough, this has the best fight choreography of all three films. Chan still continues to amaze with his monkey-like agility and the energy of a teenager on speed at a Nickelback concert.
Is the plot interesting? Not really, but when was it ever interesting? While you could follow along easily with the first two installments, Rush Hour 3 is loaded with complicated plot holes the size of Lindsay Lohan’s snatch. This is the film’s biggest weakness. If you can help it, I wouldn’t bother messing with the stupidity of the plot. Just try and put your mind at ease and have fun. Tucker cracks the jokes and Chan cracks the skulls. That’s the way it’s always been, my bitches.
Aside from the plot, the film is also loaded with a shit-ton of bad CGI, and the last 15 minutes of the flick, which features an over-the-top battle on top on the Eiffel Tower, is almost unbearable to watch. At that point, a donkey show would be easier on the eyes. Think Batman & Robin, with ridiculous stunts and bad effects. Thankfully, they delivered again, with funny outtakes as a pick-me-up before you leave. I was going to my car to commit suicide, but then I saw Chan get hit in the face with tons of stunts gone bad and all was good in the world again.
The movie also tries to answer pointless questions about what happened with the characters after the last installment (including Roselyn Sanchez’s character), which was completely unnecessary.
The only other factor I can complain about is the movie’s length, which is sadly way too short. It clocks in at 90 minutes, which is barely a movie nowadays. This is probably due to the fact that the producers were originally planning to shoot a third and fourth sequel simultaneously (like Pirates of the Caribbean and Lord of the Rings). But when that giant script became too costly, I have a feeling they just cut it in half and the first section was presented as Rush Hour 3. A bunch of fucking geniuses, you are.
Nevertheless, if you’re a big fan of the Rush Hours, Rush Hour 3 won’t fail to entertain you. Many think that this should be the last in the series. I disagree. I think they should recognize the faults of this new one and make a couple more. Hell, I’d probably go see a Rush Hour movie annually if possible. Too bad the studio doesn’t use all the money they would pay Chris Tucker to save little dying African babies–then mucho time would be saved. Fun times.
Grade: B

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