Into the Blue

| October 4, 2005

So how did I get to do this review? Well, I saw Jessica Alba in The Fantastic Four and since it looked as though, from The Warnings (the trailers), she was going to spend most of the movie in a bikini, I let my inner Man take over and request it. But to give it justice, I am going to let my inner Teenager, Jay, do the review:
“Thanks dude… I haven’t been allowed to review a movie for like, ever. So any ways, Into The Blue is a completely bitchin’ flick. It stars that 24-year-old hottie Jessica Alba from Sin City and Honey as the chick half of a couple that are total dive bums in the Bahamas. They spend their time showing tourists a good time and do some treasure hunting on the side.
So there is this huge storm that has just blown through and her boyfriend Jared (Paul Walker from those pieces of crap Fast and Furious 1 and 2)
head out to see what the storm has churned up off the ocean bottom.
Joining them are Jared’s lifelong friend Bryce and a skank of a girlfriend Amanda that he just met and brought down to the islands from New York. Bryce is a lawyer that defends some real bad guys and as payment for services, one of them lets him use a totally tricked out house right on the water–complete with a dive boat. Gee, what are the odds but what the heck, it’s a hot boat.
So while the four of them are diving, they come across, not only an old boat filled with treasure, but 200 yards away, a plane that is full of cocaine that crashed in the storm. This is when we really find out what a bitch Amanda (Ashley Scott from Walking Tall) really turns out to be. Instead of protecting the treasure boat, she wants to take all the cocaine.
Things being what they are, Ashley and Bryce (Scott Caan from Oceans 11 and 12) get the four of them into trouble by taking what they think is the easy road by taking the drugs to a kingpin who does not see it as a matter of paying for lost luggage… He wants them to bring the drugs or get killed.
There are a lot of twists and turns cause we find out that there are lots of bad guys BEHIND the bad guys and all of them want as much money as possible, no matter who dies.
This was a totally rad movie. Explosions, and sharks, and fights, and tons of hotties (no full on titties but you see Amanda’s from the side) are all over the screen. There were lots of hot young things in the audience too, so if you don’t have a date, bring your buds and look around the lobby for someone to hit on.
“Into The Blue gets two diving masks way up from this teenager.”
Thanks, Jay. As an adult I would have to say that there are lots of movies that have been produced that were not as good as Into the Blue, but if you want a good popcorn movie, I think it is generally ok for older audiences, too. But if you went to the multiplex looking for “something” to see, Lord of War, Just Like Heaven and even Flightplan are probably a better investment of your time.

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