I Think I Love My Wife

| March 18, 2007

Two of my favorite comedians wrote this film. Chris Rock, whose standup always makes me laugh, even upon repeat viewings, and Louis C.K., whose short-lived HBO show Lucky Louie was hysterically, tear-causing funny.
So, to use some of Rock’s words: what the fuck happened?
Rock stars as Richard Cooper, an investment banker, who, in his own words, has become bored to death after seven years of marriage (is this a remake of The Seven Year Itch?). Into his life pops Nikki Tru (played by the smokin’-hot Kerry Washington from The Last King of Scotland and Fantastic Four), who is back in town after eight years of boyfriend-hopping. She is applying for jobs and wants a personal reference from Cooper, which he gladly signs. Tru is a modern day Holly Golightly, going from party to party, man to man, with no real feel for the consequences of knowing that every man she meets wants to have sex with her.
It seems that, since she has no one else to amuse her, Tru decides that Cooper will be her toy and constantly asks him why he is married and if he and his wife are having sex–while not offering any of her own–and Cooper, to his credit, does not attempt to force. Maybe she is ready to settle down and remembered Cooper as one fine specimen of marriageability.
But here is what I do not understand. After seeing Cooper and his wife Brenda (Gina Torres from 24, Alias, Standoff) go through marriage counseling and not having sex for what appears to be the better part of a year, all I could ask was, why is he married? Maybe Brenda just isn’t my type, I thought. Maybe I just think she is an overbearing, controlling, marriage-is-for-procreation kind of woman. Nope, my wife agrees–why the heck is he married to her?
We see Cooper put his job in danger to help Nikki find a place to live, get her stuff out of her ex-boyfriend’s apartment (in another city) and drop whatever he is doing to see her. All of that without the “benefits” part of “friends with benefits.” This is completely unbelievable, especially when Cooper is offered her body and, well, you can guess what happens. Yeah, he bails. I felt like screaming “Pussy!” but the wife beat me to it. Damn, I know I love my wife.
So here is what should have happened: Cooper dumps Brenda for Nikki. They spend every evening and morning having tons of hot sex and we get to watch. Oh wait, that’s porn. It would have been more satisfying than this sadly unfunny movie. There is even an odd attempt at a musical duet, with Rock and Torres bursting into song about how they are still in love. It was poorly and sadly misplaced in this movie and totally missed the mark.
My suggestion: Go rent Last King of Scotland so you can see Washington naked, find some old The Chris Rock Shows on cable and send HBO a letter for more episodes of Lucky Louie. It would be a better use of your 90 minutes than this film.

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