Fletch’s Top/Bottom Ten of 2008

| January 16, 2009

FLETCH’S TOP TEN OF 2008
10) FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL- Who would’ve thought the tall dude from Knocked Up could write a funny screenplay? And Paul Rudd is on the roll of his life. The first vacation movie in a long time that deserves its “comedy” label.
9) FOUR CHRISTMASES- Another Christmas classic for anyone that hates spending the holidays with their families. Vaughn and Witherspoon have great chemistry and I really felt the pain they had to go through with each family encounter. Watch it drunk if possible.
8) NICK AND NORAH’S INFINITE PLAYLIST- The biggest surprise of the year for me. Sweet, touching and thoughtful, it took me back to the good times of my high school years (which were scarce, so that’s hard to do). A great sleeper would-be hit.
7) THE STRANGERS- Scared the ever-living sh*t out of me. Nuff said.
6) PINEAPPLE EXPRESS- I don’t smoke weed, but this flick made me want to. The misadventures of a pot head and his idiot dealer was a genius idea. Nice throw-back to the old 80’s buddy flicks.
5) HAROLD & KUMAR ESCAPE FROM GUANTANAMO BAY- I love these guys! Even better than the first. It removes the cheese from traditional, stereotypical jokes. Long live Neil Patrick Harris!
4) RAMBO- One of the most hardcore action pictures ever made. Flashing some major kahunas, civilians are slaughtered by the dozens, children get tossed into fires and decapitated heads go flying. Even in his 60’s, Stallone still kicks incredible ass.
3) IRON MAN- Jon Favreau and Downey Jr. create a perfect blend of comedy and action to bring the otherwise dull Tony Stark to the big screen. In my top five of favorite comic book movies ever.
2) ZACK AND MIRI MAKE A PORNO- Kevin Smith’s funniest, most heartfelt movie yet, I truly can’t remember the last time I laughed this hard. Seriously, there were tears. It suffered from a terrible release date so everyone check this out on DVD February 3rd.
1) THE DARK KNIGHT- There’s nothing I can say that hasn’t been said already. If Ledger doesn’t get an Oscar then there simply is no God. All Hail The Dark Knight!!!
HONORABLE MENTION
CLOVERFIELD- Skillfully executed and a nifty idea.
HANCOCK- I don’t know why everyone is hating on this movie. It rocked!
IN BRUGES- Witty dialogue executed by flawless acting.
TROPIC THUNDER- Downey plays a black man better than most black men. Best ’08 cameos.
WANTED- The ultimate Summer popcorn flick. Great fun.
FLETCH’S BOTTOM TEN OF 2008
10) DRILLBIT TAYLOR- Seth Rogen is lucky he scored two good flicks on my top ten this year, because this sh*t is unacceptable (he wrote the script). And I haven’t seen Marley and Me yet but this was strike two for Owen Wilson in my book.
9) YOU DON’T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN- The title pretty much says it. Hey, do you guys remember a time when Sandler was funny? Hahahaha… oh, we’re so old.
8) JUMPER- Whiny bitch Hayden Christensen gets my vote for worst actor of the year (and quite possibly, the planet). Just quit acting, bro. Seriously. Burger King needs you. You have the unique ability to ruin a movie by even a small cameo.
7) IN THE NAME OF THE KING: A DUNGEON SIEGE TALE- I debated whether or not to put this on the list because it was hilarious. But I just… I just HATE that c*ck-sucking Nazi bastard Uwe Boll.
6) THE HAPPENING- No one is more upset with the fall of Shyamalan than I. If he keeps making stuff like this then he’ll be writing scripts on a notepad in the back room of a 7-Eleven.
5) BURN AFTER READING- If you thought this movie was funny then you are not funny. That’s right, I said it. Read it again, b*tch. And for God’s sake, don’t tell any stories at cocktail parties.
4) SAW V- Let it die. Please… just… just let go…
3) THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR- Abominable snowmen?!?! (this is also an actual line from the movie)
2) TRANSPORTER 3- I didn’t realize it until just now, but Statham (who I’m normally a fan of) stars in the two worst movies on this list. I’d rather watch Rocky V on a loop while burning in Hell than to watch two minutes of this again.
1) DEATH RACE- This was ranked #1 due in part to my anticipation for it, as the original Death Race 2000 is one of my favorite 70’s pictures. But strip away every aspect that made that flick cool and this is what you’ve got. The absolute epitome of sh*tty remakes. Jason Statham deserves cancer (curable, at least).
DISHONORABLE MENTION
INDIANA JONES & THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL- F*cking Aliens???
NEVER BACK DOWN- It’s The Karate Kid with a major shot of homo.
PROM NIGHT- Jamie Lee Curtis is rolling over in her grave. Oh, she’s alive?
RIGHTEOUS KILL- New rule, no Pacino/Deniro team-ups without Scorsese.
VANTAGE POINT- Isn’t it sweet how the movie blew from every view point?
FLICKS I HAVEN’T CAUGHT YET
DEFIANCE
FROST/NIXON
REVOLUTIONARY ROAD
SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE
THE WRESTLER
FLETCH’S MOST ANTICIPATED OF 2009
1) FAST AND FURIOUS
2) FRIDAY THE 13TH
3) STAR TREK
4) HARRY POTTER & THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE
5) TERMINATOR SALVATION
6) X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE
7) 2012
8) OBSERVE AND REPORT
9) FANBOYS
10) TAKEN

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