Posted: 01/16/2009 |
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Fletch’s Top/Bottom Ten of 2008(2009)by Clint Fletcher | |
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FLETCH’S TOP TEN OF 2008 10) FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL- Who would’ve thought the tall dude from Knocked Up could write a funny screenplay? And Paul Rudd is on the roll of his life. The first vacation movie in a long time that deserves its “comedy” label. 9) FOUR CHRISTMASES- Another Christmas classic for anyone that hates spending the holidays with their families. Vaughn and Witherspoon have great chemistry and I really felt the pain they had to go through with each family encounter. Watch it drunk if possible. 8) NICK AND NORAH’S INFINITE PLAYLIST- The biggest surprise of the year for me. Sweet, touching and thoughtful, it took me back to the good times of my high school years (which were scarce, so that’s hard to do). A great sleeper would-be hit. 7) THE STRANGERS- Scared the ever-living sh*t out of me. Nuff said. 6) PINEAPPLE EXPRESS- I don’t smoke weed, but this flick made me want to. The misadventures of a pot head and his idiot dealer was a genius idea. Nice throw-back to the old 80’s buddy flicks. 5) HAROLD & KUMAR ESCAPE FROM GUANTANAMO BAY- I love these guys! Even better than the first. It removes the cheese from traditional, stereotypical jokes. Long live Neil Patrick Harris! 4) RAMBO- One of the most hardcore action pictures ever made. Flashing some major kahunas, civilians are slaughtered by the dozens, children get tossed into fires and decapitated heads go flying. Even in his 60’s, Stallone still kicks incredible ass. 2) ZACK AND MIRI MAKE A PORNO- Kevin Smith’s funniest, most heartfelt movie yet, I truly can’t remember the last time I laughed this hard. Seriously, there were tears. It suffered from a terrible release date so everyone check this out on DVD February 3rd. 1) THE DARK KNIGHT- There’s nothing I can say that hasn’t been said already. If Ledger doesn’t get an Oscar then there simply is no God. All Hail The Dark Knight!!! HONORABLE MENTION CLOVERFIELD- Skillfully executed and a nifty idea. FLETCH’S BOTTOM TEN OF 2008 10) DRILLBIT TAYLOR- Seth Rogen is lucky he scored two good flicks on my top ten this year, because this sh*t is unacceptable (he wrote the script). And I haven’t seen Marley and Me yet but this was strike two for Owen Wilson in my book. 9) YOU DON’T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN- The title pretty much says it. Hey, do you guys remember a time when Sandler was funny? Hahahaha… oh, we’re so old. 8) JUMPER- Whiny bitch Hayden Christensen gets my vote for worst actor of the year (and quite possibly, the planet). Just quit acting, bro. Seriously. Burger King needs you. You have the unique ability to ruin a movie by even a small cameo. 7) IN THE NAME OF THE KING: A DUNGEON SIEGE TALE- I debated whether or not to put this on the list because it was hilarious. But I just… I just HATE that c*ck-sucking Nazi bastard Uwe Boll. 6) THE HAPPENING- No one is more upset with the fall of Shyamalan than I. If he keeps making stuff like this then he’ll be writing scripts on a notepad in the back room of a 7-Eleven. 5) BURN AFTER READING- If you thought this movie was funny then you are not funny. That’s right, I said it. Read it again, b*tch. And for God’s sake, don’t tell any stories at cocktail parties. 4) SAW V- Let it die. Please… just… just let go… 3) THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR- Abominable snowmen?!?! (this is also an actual line from the movie) 2) TRANSPORTER 3- I didn’t realize it until just now, but Statham (who I’m normally a fan of) stars in the two worst movies on this list. I’d rather watch Rocky V on a loop while burning in Hell than to watch two minutes of this again. 1) DEATH RACE- This was ranked #1 due in part to my anticipation for it, as the original Death Race 2000 is one of my favorite 70’s pictures. But strip away every aspect that made that flick cool and this is what you’ve got. The absolute epitome of sh*tty remakes. Jason Statham deserves cancer (curable, at least). DISHONORABLE MENTION INDIANA JONES & THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL- F*cking Aliens??? FLICKS I HAVEN’T CAUGHT YET DEFIANCE FLETCH’S MOST ANTICIPATED OF 2009 1) FAST AND FURIOUS Clint Fletcher is a comedy writer who wants people to love him. Got a problem? E-mail us at filmmonthly@gmail.com |