Posted: 01/15/2003


The Best and Worst of 2002

by Hank Yuloff

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Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, movie fans of allllllll ages! It is that time of year again when us genius typewriters pick our very favorite and horribly worst movies for the little e-zine we all love. We don’t agree by any stretch of the imagination, but that’s what makes it a horse race, doesn’t it. So here are my selections… The reason I spend $3000 a year in the dark!

The Best Movies of the Year:

Kissing Jessica Stein—Funny, Inventive, erotic enough with chicks kissing!

Real Women Have Curves (If you missed this SEE IT!)—Blew me away. Soooo good. I will give America Ferrara nomination for best actress.

One Hour Photo—Robin Williams is spooky good. The movie is beautifully filmed.

Road to Perdition—Another well-shot movie. Best Actor Nomination—Tom Hanks, Supporting nod goes to Paul Newman.

My Big Fat Greek Wedding—Oy, have I got a family to tell you about. If you STILL ignored the buzz on this movie, you so blew it. I hope the Academy doesn’t blow it and nominates it as one of the best of the year.

Antwone Fisher—Best Actor nomination—Derek Luke OK, so I cried a little at the end. If the Academy screws Denzel for director they have no heart.

Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers—Another trip to Middle Earth. Just as breathtaking.

Gangs of New York—Best Actor nomination—Daniel Day Lewis If Jon Bastion and I can agree on one thing on our lists, it’s that this is an amazing movie. Watch it again on DVD so you can see everything going on in the background. Costumes, Cinematography, Set Decoration should all get nominations as well. This is going to get a lot of Oscar talk.

Red Dragon—I am a FAN of the two other movies with Dr. Hannibal Lecter. Fiennes is excellent as the bad guy. Hopkins is excellent in everything. The snobs who say it is a rip off of Manhunter should just watch this one for itself.

The Banger Sisters—Laughed hard. Loved Goldie.

The Good Girl—Hey, that Aniston chick from Friends really can act. What a sad story, and a good movie.

The Man From Elysian Fields—Andy Garcia and Mick Jagger really made for an excellent story of a male prostitute doing a writer’s wife. With his consent!

Changing Lanes—The Ben Affleck part could have been anyone, even Matt Damon, but Samuel L. Jackson is terrific.

Sweet Home Alabama—Hey y’all, its just funny. Now git over here and have a col’ beer.

Honorable Mention:

About a Boy—I really liked this film. Great date flick when you’re inviting a new love interest over to your place for the first time.

Adaptation—Nicky Cage is always worth watching. But the movie is a little long.

Rules of Attraction—Sparked from beginning to end. Well-photographed. Great story.

The Ring—I got goose bumps. Very scary.

Panic Room- Might get a nomination for cinematography. Best titles of the year.

MIB II (screw ya, Del, I liked it*)—Will and Tommy Lee and Lara Flynn. Three great reasons to see this one again.

Insomnia—Left me a little tired. Williams was better in One Hour Photo, but still creepy.

Signs—War of the Worlds on a micro scale. Scariest trailer of the year.

Sum of All Fears—Not the best Clancy novel adaptation, but worth a view.

Catch Me If You Can—DiCaprio made two very good movies this year.

8 Mile—Yea, Eminem is under attack, but I’m here to tell ya’ the boy can act. And Brittany does NOT stand for Spears. One GREAT sex scene (probably the best of the year).

The Bourne Identity—Good chase scenes.

Best Kinky Flicks That’ll Give You a Hard On:

Femme Fetale—Rebecca Romijn-Stamos is just smoking on the screen—especially the scene on the pool table.

Secretary—Makes me want to hire an assistant.

Tadpole—Every teenager’s dream

Kissing Jessica Stein—Sex is supposed to be this funny.

Igby Goes Down—Or is gone down on. Great cast.

40 Days, 40 Nights—I just wanted another sex-themed movie here. It was OK.

Crap I Saw (The Worst 10 Movies of the Year):

Adventures of Pluto Nash—Pure crap from beginning to end. Will somebody give Eddie Murphy a movie he can have fun in without being a jackass (or donkey)?

Lovely & Amazing—Read Wayne Case’s list and you will have the exact antithesis here. What a stinker of a flick. What a waste of money. I would not even spend the time if it was on cable.

Swept Away—Oh, my god. We didn’t even get to see Madonna naked. This was so bad, the movie was out of the theaters before the review hit the site.

XXX—The 20th installment of the James Bond series showed exactly how bad this 007 Wanna-Be was. And they’re making another one. Betcha the big bag of popcorn this series doesn’t last like Bond.

The Weight of Water—I saw it so you don’t have to. Sean Penn was wasted here.

Spider-Man—Hey, let’s make a movie based on a comic book. It seems to work all the time. Except here. The whole purpose of this movie was to set up the 2nd one. Pathetic. Not even Dunst in a wet T-shirt makes up for it.

The Time Machine—Not one minute worth seeing. This movie was 10 million years I will never get back again.

Murder by Numbers—So many holes in the plot I can’t count the ways!

Swimfan—This one is purely shallow end horror.

Blood Work—Tell me how soon you figured this one out. Clint, you’ve done so much better.

and, of course—

The Blair Witch Project—The bad movie against which all other bad movies are judged.

Crap I Didn’t See:

8 Legged Freaks

Undercover Brother

Friday After Next

Kung Pow

Mothman Prophicies

Sorority Boys


(Did Chris Kattan do a movie I missed?)

(Everything by Adam Sandler)

Should Have Been Better:

Knockaround Guys- A great cast let me down.

Simone—A great premise let me down.

Star Wars II—Is anyone else tired of this series? Just one more to go.

Minority Report—Very pretty to look at but more holes than a Swiss Cheese Factory. I can not believe that Roger guy on TV picked this as the year’s best.

The Emperor’s Club—Go rent Dead Poets Society instead.

Showtime—Oh dear god… Quick, give Eddie Murphy a donkey costume.

Enigma—I was disappointed, how odd.

25th Hour—A bunch of great pieces that didn’t fit well together.

*Editor’s Note: Hank is confusing my comments about Showtime with MIB2.

Hank Yuloff is an entertainment industry entrepreneur in Los Angeles.

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