FilmMonthly » Barry Meyer

Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief

Barry Meyer — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 13:56:09 +0000

The story is the same every time: boy is the son of Poseidon and he must save the world before it is too late. Today’s superhero is a naïve teenager with powers. Move over Harry Potter. Edmund, get a tan. Whatever happened to the hero of yesterday? He is lost, somewhere, probably too busy to give a darn. Let’s be realistic. Those champions are gone. This world belongs to the crime fighters born with the outrageous ability to move stuff with their minds and vanish into thin air. It is not just smarts and a cunning wit that gets the job done anymore. Aqua Man was a true superhero and Percy Jackson is just a lame carbon copy.
Directed by Christopher Columbus (Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, 2001), Percy Jackson and the Olympians: the Lightning Thief, follows a teenager on quest to find his mother. Protected by a satyr, a half man and half goat being, played by Brandon T. Jackson and Annabeth Chase (Alexandra Daddario), the daughter of Athena, Percy and his fellow olympians must pass through the fires of the underworld to rescue his mother and return the lightning bolt to Mount Olympus. Yes, someone has stolen Zeus’s lightning bolt and Percy must find the culprit before a war ensues and destroys the world. It is just another days work for a demigod.
Sadly every film that is adapted from a popular children’s book will be compared to the Harry Potter series of films. Is that fair? No, but it is expected, especially if the director was once associated with everything that’s Harry and that freakish talking hat. Mr. Columbus, you cannot escape the opinions of all those fans wanting something different. Granted, Percy Jackson is a totally different hero, but the fact this champion can breath underwater is not enough to get our mojo working.
This film seemed rushed and choppy like a music video. It was a crash course in Greek mythology that was well executed, but dull. It didn’t have the excitement and the freshness of a new series. We want to be surprised and swept away by a world that is unlike our own. The premise is strong enough to dazzle and entertain, but it didn’t do either. Come on – a kid who finds out he is a demigod is accused of stealing Zeus’s lightning bolt – it is a concept that allows a lot of room for creativity.

The Murder of Mary Magdalene

Barry Meyer — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 12:45:57 +0000

A conspiracy theory is just like a stale potato chip. It’s tough to chew on and one is never enough. The average American is known for eating fattening foods, while sitting on the couch, watching television. It is a conspiracy. Television has poisoned our minds. Who would have thought that all of those Pringles commercials would do us harm one day? Yes, corporate America wants us to eat as many chips as we can so that they can diminish the human population and control American society – one obese bastard at a time. Well, this theory may be a bit farfetched, but then again, which theory based on loose facts and historical evidence is not? It is fun thinking the world is out to get you.
Reality Films, an independent film company, has continued where Dan Brown’s Davinci Code has left off with a new documentary called the Murder of Mary Magdalene. Diving deeper into the theories and religious beliefs that have made films like the Davinci Code a success, Reality Films promises to answer the ultimate question: did the Catholic church eliminate the holy blood line? With top-notch researchers and experts in the field of the unknown, the Murder of Mary Magdalene presents a new perspective to an old and timeless hypothesis.
There is nothing better than the smell of a good conspiracy theory in the morning. It adds to the fresh feeling of paranoia set in by the glare of the morning sun.
An outrageous title needs an outrageous explanation. The Murder of Mary Magdalene is a fascinating documentary with no true conclusion. Like every other documentary with a similar theme, it falls short of providing a clear understanding of the subject in question. This film offers interesting tidbits of more of the same – questionable historical evidence leading up to the question at hand – was one of the most prominent figures in Christendom killed? Who knows? Unfortunately this documentary guides us through a labyrinth of facts that are confusing and chaotic at best. Conspiracy junkies will like this film for its attempt. Granted, it is a good one, but not good enough.
The appearance of the film was mediocre. It lacked any sense of a completed and polished product. The camera work was jumpy and dull. The graphics were second-rate. Still, all of these set backs were not surprising, coming from an independent film company. It actually added to the films authenticity.

The Book of Eli

Barry Meyer — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 10:23:57 +0000

Caution: Reviews can f-up a perfectly good ending.
It is the same story each time: a world ruined by chaos and destruction and only a happy few get to live through it all. There is nothing better than the smell of famine and disease. Ah yes, the apocalypse. Those eccentric screwballs had it right all along. The day has come. Hear the sounds of I told you so echoing through the streets? Of course not, everyone is dead. No one really knows how reality will unfold, except for Hollywood apparently. We have a lot to learn and the big screen is where to learn it. So pay attention all of you neurotic scalawags, you don’t have much time to waste, other than the time it takes to drop off the kids at the sitters, put gas in the car, call in a sick day, and drive to the nearest theatre to watch a good flick.
The Book of Eli, directed by the Hughes brothers (Menace II Society, 1992), is a film about a man on a spiritual mission. Eli (Denzel Washington) is a loner with one hell of an attitude. He is quick, intelligent, strong, and ruthless. A man of great faith, Eli must reach his destination, the West or so he says to deliver a message. This message or the book in which it is written on is what the bad guys want. The bad guy, played by Gary Oldman, is an intelligent con artist who only seeks power and the total control of the world or what is left of it.
This Hughes brother’s film is unexpected. It is, by Hollywood standards, very violent. And it is not surprising that it keeps with the Hughes brother’s directorial repertoire. Violence has surpassed the streets of America and has reached the utmost corners of our psyche. That violence begs the question: what would you do to survive? It is violence with a purpose like those old western films.
But do not be discouraged. All the explosions and the decapitations are meant to confuse us. It is Hollywood’s way of getting us in the seats. And yes, for the most part, it works. Behind all the smoke, there is a higher meaning, that is, if we choose to listen to it and that is what this film is all about. The Book of Eli works – it has great acting, good direction and Mila Kunis, what else could you ask for?

Blu-ray Disc – The Family Guy: Something, Something, Something, Dark Side

Barry Meyer — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 18:16:49 +0000

The family construct has changed, but one thing is certain and has remained constant. Families who laugh, cry and fight together through cold and stormy weather, hunger and loss somehow always manage to stick it out. Yes, they set a high standard. Back then divorce was a bizarre alternative, counseling meant drinking tea and a marital woe did not require buying a paternity test. We owe a lot to those families like the Jetsons, the Flinstones, the Simpsons and now the Griffins. If not for them, the average American family would not exist.
The Family Guy is an animated sitcom created by Seth McFarlane. The show follows a bizarre family named the Griffins living in suburban America. The group consists of parents, Peter, a blue collar working slob and Lois, a stay at home socialite. They have three children, Meg, a teenage girl who only seeks to be accepted, Chris, an overweight screwball and baby Stewie, a highly intelligent and diabolical infant with a napoleon complex. Living with their taking dog Brian, who is anything but a talking dog, the Griffins get into all kinds of trouble, while poking fun at American pop culture and society.
Something, Something, Something, Dark Side is a parody of the iconic film Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back. It stars, you guessed it, the cast of the Family Guy. Peter or Han Solo, as he is better known, searches for Chris (Luke Skywalker) who is lost on a snowy planet after being captured by a giant cookie monster. Lois, I mean, Princess Leia is disappointed that Han is leaving the Rebellion. Stewie or Darth Vader is too busy ruling space and Brian is, well, Chewbacca. No need to say more. By this point in time and space you have probably seen the Empire Strikes Back many times. It is an infamous example of pop culture cinema.
Seth McFarlane’s rendition of one of the most seen films in history is, well, funny. Something, Something, Something, Dark Side has a dry wit to it that it will make you laugh. And you have to have a funny bone to get McFarlane’s humor. It is a chance not just to chuckle at the characters on screen, but also at your self. And that is what the Family Guy is all about, finding the humor in just about everything and there is nothing more comical than the average adult American watching cartoons.
SPECIAL FEATURES
Disc 1
Audio Commentary by executive producers Seth McFarlane, Mark Hentemann and David A. Goodman, Writer Kirker Butler, Director Domonic Polcino and Actor Seth Green
Family Guy Fact-Ups
The Dark Side of Poster Art Featurette
Sneak peek of Family Guy – Episode VI: We Have a Bad Feeling about This Table Read…and more!
Disc 2:
Digital Copy of Something, Something, Something, Dark Side for Portable Media Players.

AVATAR

Barry Meyer — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 16:01:59 +0000

Another planet with intelligent life may seem far-fetched to the geek with a microscope stuck to his eye. The phrase, there is no scientific evidence to support such a notion, can be recited with ease by any nerd with a high I.Q. Of course, a mindset like that is just another way to compensate for having a small protractor. True brainiacs will save judgment until all the questions are asked and answered. Are we truly alone out there? Maybe. But it is not going to stop us from searching, even if it means gawking at a big screen.
Director James Cameron has done it again. Sci-fi fans, romantics, drama queens and action buffs – you will all be impressed and moved by this true cinematic creation. Please take notes. This textbook example of perfection does not happen in Hollywood everyday.
Jake Sully (Sam Worthington) is an ex-marine and a paraplegic. Unable to move from the waist down, Sam is recruited to join a military program called Avatar. So why join up? Well, because he is promised the one thing that would make him whole again – his legs. At this point in time – A.D 5124 to be exact – anything is possible. Sam, after the wake of his twin brother, travels to Pandora, a distant planet lush with vegetation and wild animals. Oh yeah and the bluest alien inhabitants that would make Papa Smurf envy with jealousy. So why are the humans there? Well, because Pandora has something they want and they will do anything to get it.
This film sounds familiar doesn’t it? Maybe skipping history class in high school wasn’t such a good idea. If we have learned anything at all about history is that the world is not a safe place. War ensues and people die. Well, at least we know now that 2012 was a fluke. Apparently, in James Cameron’s world the human race has survived, but their diplomatic skills have yet to improve. We are still the evil sycophants ready to purge anything and everything in sight. But please pay close attention because there is more to the story than just violence and death.
Avatar is breathtaking. Its computer graphics is the best. The direction is superb and the acting will cause a buzz. No doubt the sequel is already in the works. Ah yes, cinema 101 taught by a great director and storyteller. It will be hard not to attend class for this.

Paraiso Travel

Barry Meyer — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 07:52:07 +0000

Men are relentless when it comes to the women they adore. We are blinded by stupidity and a great libido. The resourceful hunters that we are, we venture in the hunt and women, well, like to be chased. A sucker is what you are; a narrow sighted buffoon with no chance of scoring. Yeah, but it beats sitting in front of the television set, gawking at an over developed video game character on screen. We can’t help it. A man will always act like an idiot for a woman. It is how the game is played and the chump is either warming the bench or counting his loses.
Directed by Simon Brand, Paraiso Travel is a film that depicts the harsh reality of the illegal immigrant in the United States. Marlon (Adelmar Correa) is in love with his girlfriend, a saucy brunette named Reina played by Angelica Blandon. Reina wants to leave Columbia and convinces a reluctant Marlon to go with her. With a flip of her hair and the shake of her hips, she makes it cross the border with the naïve Marlon by her side. Stranded in New York City, both Reina and Marlon find themselves without a plan or a cent.
This film is more than just an immigrant story. It has essence. It is a perfect example of young love and desire. The design is intense – boy runs away from his family and home for a girl (a beautiful and manipulative girl) only to encounter hardship and starvation in a strange land. Out of all the crazy things a guy will do for his gal, leaving his country to seek out something unknown is – intense. Paraiso Travel is, if anything, a right of passage story.
Direction is key here. The present and past are mixed conveniently to tell a story that is surprisingly engaging. And where direction leaves off, acting continues and done so in a tasteful way. We are guided through a world that is genuine and harsh; a world that can only be seen by the visitor. This film is a true testament of the American dream unfulfilled. That emptiness, ironically, will leave us wanting more – more of the story that seems just too familiar even for the naïve American driving a fancy car.
Special Features:
English dub and original Spanish version with English subtitles.
Photo Gallery
Theatrical Trailer

The Men Who Stare at Goats

Barry Meyer — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 13:02:06 +0000

A surreal explanation may seem acceptable to the fanatic, but for the rest of human life, the truth is just a matter of pealing away the lies. Nothing can escape the humbug. If it floats, whales through the night or glows a fluorescent white then it must be paranormal. Phenomenon is a priceless tool for the twitchy ghost hunter, the crazed Ufologists, and the know-it-all psychic who can’t get anything right. And those who sit and wait for the answers are those who can’t separate fantasy from reality. It’s fun to believe in something that is out of this world – isn’t it? Now, blow out the candles, wish upon that star and never look under the bed because the boogieman will get you. Hear the insect chirping? That is just Jiminy Cricket keeping away the bed bugs.
The Men Who Stare at Goats was a book published in 2004. Author Jon Ronson uncovered the secrets of the U.S Army’s ties to psychic warfare and America’s First Earth Battalion – a group of gifted soldiers who can turn invisible and kill with their minds – goats that is. Yes, nothing can escape the humbug. Years later, who would of thought that this story would become a Hollywood film? Well, all the psychics in the United States military that is who.
Adapted for the big screen, The Men Who Stare at Goats is a dark comedy about a journalist played by Ewan McGregor, and his quest to find the next big story. He goes to Kuwait and finds himself – by chance – with a man named Lyn Cassady (George Clooney), a Special Forces operator trained in psychic warfare. Together they seek out their destiny – in Iraq no less – like true Jedi warriors or so they think they are.
Any film with such a clever and memorable title should be worth something. In this case, a dark comedy should have a proper balance between comedy and satire. We want to laugh. We want to be stunned by a topic that is so outrageous that it will leave us dazed with confusion and disbelief. The United States military training soldiers in psychic warfare is a unique concept. (Comic book and sci-fi geeks will tend to argue.) Unfortunately, The Men Who Stare at Goats should have remained in the pages of a book. It was dry, boring and lacked true satirical comedic value. That said, the direction and the acting was top notch, but that is expected from a list of top-notch actors. Alas, there is no surprise that something was lost in the translation – being a book-to-film adaptation and all.

Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant

Barry Meyer — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 19:40:52 +0000

Oh no, another vampire flick. Yes, all of you bloodsuckers out there, you are going to have to wait for the next Twilight installment just a little bit longer. In the meantime, this film about a boy vampire should fulfill your craving. Tired of the same storyline: boy is a vampire, girl falls in love with said vampire, and said vampire becomes a hero – the type of hero that all girls dream about. He is tall, dark and dangerous. The kind of boy you wouldn’t take home to meet your parents, but do so anyhow because he is irresistible and you are a naïve schoolgirl. Everyone likes to role-play, even a tortured vampire in need of a serious acting class.
Cirque du Freak is the first installment in the series of books called The Saga of Darren Shan. Written by London author Darren Shan, The Vampires Assistant delves deeper into the world of the vampire and a boy who by ill chance becomes one of them.
Director Paul Weitz (Little Fockers, 2010) and Universal Pictures have joined together to bring the first three books to life – no pun intended. Fans of the series brace yourselves and stay away from the sun we don’t want any sudden suicides just in case this film sucks…blood that is.
Darren (Chris Massoglia) is a sixteen-year-old goody two shoes who has it all: good grades, two loving parents and a best friend. Steve (Josh Hutcherson) is a no good revel rouser who can’t stay out of trouble. Like two typical teenagers with nothing else better to do (or so the story goes), they sneak out in the middle of the night to see a freak show circus near the outskirts of town. Steve, a vampire fanatic, convinces himself that Crepsley (John C. Reilly), a sideshow performer, is a 150-year-old vampire. Meanwhile, Darren is too busy fascinating over a rare red and blue spider to believe any of his nonsense.
This is the point in the film where everything goes wrong…
This is a children’s film meant for adults. While there are no sex scenes and the violence is subdued (even for a fantasy world filled with vampires) and the language is good enough for any sailor to speak. It is still meant for someone without a Robert Pattinson poster on their ceiling. Granted, if you are a hardcore vampire buff – skip the film and just read the book instead with a nice bottle of red (blood) wine.

Greek: Chapter Three

Barry Meyer — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 08:08:42 +0000

Remember those crazy college years? Yeah, it was a drunken good ol’ time. Today, that degree that cost too much in the first place isn’t worth a McDonald’s paycheck. Back then, chugging twenty beers was a menial task and falling asleep in the middle of class meant resting up for a wild party later on that night. Years later, those twenty beers have formed into a gut that stretches out ten feet and suddenly falling asleep during a work presentation means that the baby was crying all night. What happened? You are bald, fat, and working a lousy job and the dream girl you married turned out to be worse than your nagging mother in law.
Well, don’t worry. Relive those college years with the third chapter of Greek. The lovable siblings, Rusty and Casey, face another year of partying, pledges and pending heartaches. What about class and studying? There is not enough time for that. Want to know what college is about, then, look no further. Yes, why even go to college. Buy Greek: Chapter Three – it’s cheaper than a year of tuition and more entertaining.
Bonus Features include – 20 questions with the cast of Greek, Bloopers and Audio commentary.
All-New season starts August 31 at 8/7c on ABC Family.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Barry Meyer — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 19:13:53 +0000

Not much of a reader. Don’t know the lingo just yet. Well, it can be daunting. A quick course of wizardry 101 at the nearby community college might help. It is a new world filled with magic and wonderful creatures. Star Wars geeks you have been replaced. Light sabers are out. Wands are way cooler. Twilight fanatics the fat lady has sung. The Quaffel has been thrown. Duck! All of you pale neck nibblers and quickly. It is time to play a game of Quidditch and blood suckers are not allowed.
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince is the sixth installment in the ever popular film franchise adapted from author J.K Rowling’s book series. Directed by David Yates, the Half Blood Prince, continues the story of the chosen one, Harry Potter, as he endeavors another year at Hogwarts while trying to stop the forces of evil from taking over the world.
Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe) is all grown up and he is now a babe magnet. Who would have known? Witches dig scars and being known as the chosen one doesn’t hurt either. But Harry has other things on his mind than winning the heart of a few damsels. Dumbledore has a secret and the only one he can trust is Harry. Two words – Tom Riddle – the boy who would become Lord Voldemort is back. It is now left up to Harry and his fellow wizards to stop him.
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince is a long film. It is 153 minutes of too much of anything. The world of magic is an intriguing place, but it’s just too darn long. It captivates like a love potion until it looses its effect. Fans of the book will see this film over and over again. Who can blame them? The film is beautifully shot and directed. The cast is brilliant. Yes, the sixth time is the charm.
Potter fans, don’t scream victory just yet.
Every adaptation has its flaws. It is a Hollywood curse and no magic potion or spell will ever break its end result. Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince plays out like a scene from Dawson’s Creek with a lot of hocus pocus in between. No doubt it is Warner Bros. ill attempt at wooing Twilight fans back to the series. Fortunately, the romance doesn’t distract and is somewhat entertaining.
This film, if anything, is an introduction to the last two films of the franchise so, don’t be disappointed if the ending is a let down. And it is. Just remember there are two films left.