Posted: 05/01/08
The Planet (2006)
by Jef Burnham

Coming to DVD June 10 from MTI Home Video.


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The Planet is a cool movie packed with space ships, laser guns and monsters, starring World Fitness Federation Mr. Universe, Mike Mitchell, who is quite big indeed. Though it could have felt forced otherwise, the film's story about a battle over the existence of the universe is saved by the fact that it's told from the point of view of ten mercenaries who find themselves way out of their element.

The film opens with a 5-minute space battle, which, frankly, the audience has little vested interest in since the movie just started and we don't know anything about the two parties involved. After that, the ten surviving crewmen of the destroyed mercenary freighter ship land on a barren planet with little hope of rescue or survival. Things get worse for the crew as the nights get colder, they are attacked by mysterious humanoid creatures, and they unintentionally become embroiled in a plot to reboot the universe.

The whole thing is reminiscent of the short-lived television series Earth 2, in that the mercenaries, like the colonists of the second Earth, find themselves on an uncharted planet which they must learn the secrets of if they hope to survive. And really, the film's only slightly longer than a single episode of Earth 2. Although the information in the press release claims the film is 80 minutes, it actually runs just shy of 70. It's a perfect length for the film, though, as it helps to keep up the pace, since the desert setting and survival aspects might have bogged the film down otherwise.

In those 70 minutes they manage to express very little about the characters themselves. Writer/director Mark Stirton makes full use of stereotypes and cliches to accomplish characterization. The characters have names like Captain, Kid, and Doc. And if you didn't catch a character's name, don't worry about it. That just means they're probably going to die some sort of horrible death soon anyway.

Jef Burnham is a film critic living in Chicago.

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