Why this movie got made in the first place I will never know. David Goyer directed it, who has had much success as a writer (Batman Begins, Blade) but sucks gigantic balls as a director (Blade: Trinity, ZigZag). It has no known actors in it, excluding Marcia Gay Harden who does anything for a paycheck. It even stars an unknown in the form of Justin Chatwin (the whiny son from War of the Worlds). While Chatwin definitely has that mysterious “it” factor going on, I just don’t think he has the chops quite yet to carry his own flick. The writers don’t have much going for them either. Both of them come from the straight-to-video market. Every single one of these decisions made by the producers is a BAD one. And slapping on those false titles like “from the writer of Batman Begins” and “the producers of the Sixth Sense” is complete advertising bullshit. The writer of Batman Begins DID NOT write this movie and its only made by the same STUDIO as The Sixth Sense.

The biggest problem with this flick is the tone and logic of the screenplay. Once again, Goyer can’t direct for shit, which he proved with the uneven Blade: Trinity a couple years ago. The tone of this movie is all over the place. It just doesn’t know what it wants to be. It attempts to be a thriller one minute, a romance flick the next, a dark comic book flick the next, and then a straight-forward drama at other times. Most scenes come off as unintentionally laughable thanks to the uneven tone, and the soundtrack doesn’t match what’s happening on screen at all. And the screenplay makes no sense whatsoever. Almost every character contradicts themselves in their actions, which I will explain further below.

The Invisible tells the story of high school student Nick Powell, who seems like an outcast and yet the most popular girl in school wants to bang him. Huh? Nick has a friend named Pete (Chris Marquette) that keeps getting bullied on by a girl named Annie that’s smaller than him. Huh? This girl has a following of guy thugs that are all scared of her for no apparent reason. Huh? After the girl robs a jewelry store, she gets secretly ratted out by one of her male lackeys. Mistaking Pete to be the one that ratted on her, she kicks his ass. Fearing for his life, he says the snitch was his best friend Nick. Huh? So Annie and her lackeys basically beat Nick half to death and dump his body into the sewer mistaking him for dead. But Nick is not dead. Oh, no sir! This guy has a lot of pointless running and shouting ahead of him! So as Nick suddenly appears as a ghost, he figures out that he’s not dead, just in limbo. The only way to survive is to somehow lead people to his body in time before he dies from his injuries. If you smell plotholes at this point, that’s because they’re a mile long. So for the next two hours, Nick does absolutely nothing useful. He follows Pete, Annie and his mother around, screaming and yelling and apparently the only one that can hear him is Annie, though she chooses to ignore him until the last five minutes. Huh??? As Nick continues to get through to Annie and convince her to tell the cops where his body is, Annie goes through a transformation from bad to good. Meanwhile, Nick begins to understand why she is the way she is and eventually falls for her. Oh what the fuck ever.

If the plot sounds bizarre, that’s because it is. Most of the story doesn’t make much sense from a logical point of view. Examples of this include why Nick has a popular girl interested in him, why she doesn’t give a shit when he goes missing, why all these dominant male characters are afraid of this Annie chick, and why Pete pins all this shit on his best friend who he cares deeply for. None of these questions get answered. There are just too many question marks to avoid with the story. However, out of all the movies it tried to be, I actually preferred the romance movie the best. I know it sounds a little crazy for Nick to fall for the girl who supposedly killed him, but Annie’s character transformation and her connection with Nick was the most intriguing part of the story. While this isn’t enough to be a saving grace, it does prevent me from giving the flick a much lower grade. And also, while the soundtrack was completely inappropriate for tone, it had some killer tunes that entertained me regardless like Snow Patrol, Death Cab For Cutie and 30 Seconds to Mars. The best soundtrack of 2007 thus far. Too bad it’s all wrong for the movie entirely.

I can’t, in good conscience recommend this movie to anyone. While it does have its moments, most of the flick is ridiculous and absurd. Here’s hoping Hollywood will take notice and not offer Goyer anymore directing gigs. Could someone remove him from the Magneto movie please?

Grade: C-