Archive for January, 2007

Angst

Angst

| January 30, 2007

Advance warning–the first ten minutes of “Angst” are going to feature one of the most bizarre scenes I’ve seen from a movie that wasn’t Japanese Because unless I’ve completely misunderstood what happened–and it’s very possible, believe me–I just watched some guy rape our main character, Helen, and then vanish into her pussy. And all that […]

The Film Monthly Critics’ Poll 2006

The Film Monthly Critics’ Poll 2006

| January 27, 2007

BEST PICTURE The Departed Runner Up: Children of Men BEST DIRECTOR Martin Scorsese, The Departed Runner Up: Alfonso Cuarón, Children of Men BEST ACTOR Leonardo DiCaprio, The Departed Runner Up: Ryan Gosling, Half Nelson BEST ACTRESS Penelope Cruz, Volver Runner Up: (tie) Judi Dench, Notes on a Scandal and Meryl Streep, The Devil Wears Prada […]

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Halloween Night

Halloween Night

| January 23, 2007

Join me in a collective gasp of shock as The Asylum puts out a movie that’s NOT based heavily on previously released work! That’s right, no cheesy knockoff this time around, just a really-loosely-based-on-a-true-story romp called “Halloween Night”! Nope…no cheesy knockoffs here–this is all original cheese. Well…sort of. And the flaming bag on our video […]

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Arthur and the Invisibles

Arthur and the Invisibles

| January 18, 2007

It is important to mention the French title of this film, which is Arthur et les Minimoys because the word minimoys (pronounced mini-mo-ē) is used in the film by the actors. Besides being mispronounced in English in the movie, the word describes a tribe of little people of which a 10-year old boy, Arthur (Freddie […]

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The Norliss Tapes

The Norliss Tapes

| January 16, 2007

Another movie Anchor Bay dug up out of the “Long Forgotten” section of the archives, “The Norliss Tapes” is an interesting mix of events that lead up to a surprisingly satisifying conclusion, though not without its clear and present faults. So what we have here plotwise is a paranormal investigator, David Norliss, out investigating psychic […]

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Alpha Dog

Alpha Dog

| January 15, 2007

Nick Cassavetes’s prior directorial venture, the lush romance The Notebook, told a simple but affecting story of young lovers divided by class difference. With that film, Cassavetes gained box office success if not critical respect. Alpha Dog is his follow-up film, and it marks a sharp break with its forebear. This break is not for […]

Alpha Dog

Alpha Dog

| January 13, 2007

WILL SOMEONE TAKE THE REGGAE CAP OFF THE WHITE BOYS FROM THE VALLEY AND SHOW THEM A MIRROR?! Sorry, had to get that out of my system. When I said I would review this piece of cinematic dog excrement, I jokingly said I was “taking one for the team.” Sixty minutes into this 117 minute […]

Night of the Dead (Leben Tod)

Night of the Dead (Leben Tod)

| January 9, 2007

Somewhere, in the massive landscape of horror movies, the original and best reanimator, Dr. Herbert West, is smirking at Eric Forsberg. That cool, implacable, unflappable badass of science has seen this before, and knows how it ends. And while West chuckles, “Night of the Dead” marches on–“Re-Animator” on a low budget and a couple of […]

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Pan’s Labyrinth

Pan’s Labyrinth

| January 8, 2007

A brilliant and seamless juxtaposition of dark fantasy with harsh reality, Guillermo del Toro’s El Laberinto del Fauno (Pan’s Labyrinth) is his best film yet. Beautifully chilling and enchantingly heartbreaking, Guillermo shows us that escapism doesn’t always let you escape and that monsters are more frightening in the real world than through the rabbit hole. […]

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Happily N’Ever After

Happily N’Ever After

| January 8, 2007

Critics have been pretty rough on Happily N’Ever After. To an extent, the film’s producers ask for it by daring to invoke the legacy of Shrek in their advertising, merely because one of Happily N’Ever After‘s 10 producers also produces the three Shrek films. But despite the critical drubbing received by Happily N’Ever After, I […]

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